Lurker?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2007
Lurker?
5
Thu, 03-18-2010 - 7:39am
Good Morning Board....... I was just reading all the posts I have missed this week. I am visiting my 4 month old grandson. I seem to have missed a lot this week. I guess you might say I am a lurker..
even though I have been lurking for a long time (yrs). I love that people have offered them selves as sponsors. What a wonderful idea as this may help many. I have to say it has taken me a long time to read the posts as they are written. What I mean is I always told myself (oh thats not me) LOL.... We are all the same....We did what most of us think we would never have done... Now we are trying to get past this. Everyone needs to do this in their own way. Some lurk like myself, but taking in every word written, and as I go about my day trying to apply what I have read to my life. I know my xap/boss/best friend had very different ideas then I did. I have worked very hard to be able to say this... Tears roll as I write. My xap is not a bad person. How could I judge him, we both cheated. I am not a bad person. OK enough about me. My point is we all need to realize that life goes on. For most here you never have to see that person again... I see mine everyday.
Iddy, with all your inspiration you have written on the board, Thank You... It helps me get through the day. There are so many wonderful insights on this board. Sometimes overwhelming. All I can say is read...read.. read... but you have to realize everyone needs to heal in there own time, there own way. When the A is over it takes a lot of work to get beyond it. For me it was not why did I do it , I know why, I was not looking to have an A. It was the excitement. Now I know what I really have family, friends, life is more important than the quick fix. I am still working on getting over XAP. For many if we think back.... The answers were always there during the A. What I mean is my x told me just a couple of month into A that he was so guilty he could not continue. I did not except this I was selfish. I hurt him, me, and god I could have caused so much pain if there was a DD. The grass is not greener on the other side, your own yard can be green if you want it to be. I don't know how else to say it. Ladies, I have a long way to go, but I am doing it. I do not count N/C or L/C because for me I have to have contact everyday. But the contact is not personal anymore. The personal stuff is for home. I guess I am just trying to say, we can all get over this if you want.. Just take 1 day at a time, do it in your own time, we are all different. You know if you are making progress with yourself. All the great people are here to help (if you want it) its like leading a horse to water, but you can not make him drink. KWIM. Gee all those old saying are so true.... Hope this was not to long...I just don't want anyone to feel bad if making slow progress. That is why I sort of lurk, because I felt I was not up to par with everyone else. But in reality I am, because I am doing it. Just in my own way. Don't get me wrong, the fog has lifted, the healing is what I am doing in my own time, my own way. You too can do it if you want
Loveless
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2010
In reply to: loveless2007
Thu, 03-18-2010 - 8:25am

Hi Loveless-

I am glad you are having a good time with your grandson. I relate so much to what you have written. I love this: <> This is one of the HUGE lessons I've learned since ending my A 49 days ago. I had a wonderful life and H that I was neglecting for the high of the A. It was foolish and reckless. Now, I am pouring all of the energy (and maybe more) that I was pouring in the A, back into my RL and I am reaping the rewards.

Jane
NC since January 28, 2010
http://secretlifeofjane.wordpress.com/
Jane
NC/LC since January 28, 2010
http://secretlifeofjane.wordpress.com/
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2007
In reply to: loveless2007
Thu, 03-18-2010 - 10:04am
Hi Jane good for u pouring so much of yourself in your M. I am doing the same. Getting ready to leave for airport will post tonight if I have time. I feel great today. Cannot wait to see my H.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-13-2010
In reply to: loveless2007
Thu, 03-18-2010 - 12:18pm

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2009
In reply to: loveless2007
Thu, 03-18-2010 - 2:06pm

((skattwo))


<

   ~Iddy~ 


iVillage Member
Registered: 02-13-2010
In reply to: loveless2007
Thu, 03-18-2010 - 5:28pm