what a way to end

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2010
what a way to end
14
Sun, 03-21-2010 - 1:15pm

So this is my story, just another one to add to the board.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2009
Sun, 03-21-2010 - 1:33pm

Sorry you're hurting TTL. I'm curious how him sending you photos could possibily be your fault??? I mean, he gets busted and can't even own up to it?? Sounds like an immature, insecure creep to me.


Be glad it's done. He was never going to be faithful to you. We are ALL cheaters in an A. Seriously, how could you ever expect your AP to be "faithful" to you. Say that out loud. Doesn't it sound absurd??


You have taken the biggest first steps by eliminating him from your phone, email, etc. Keep up the NC. Sounds like his ego will drive him to go fishing for you at some point. You did good in thwarting those attempts!


Welcome to this board. You will find all the support and resources you need to help you through the ending of your A and to help rebuild

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2009
Sun, 03-21-2010 - 2:01pm

Hey and welcome. I know you don't feel like that right now, but actually the way it ended is a sheer blessing in disguise as you see him exactly for who he is and how little all that you thought was special meant to him. It is a perfect reason for you to walk away and keep walking without ever looking back.

We all were once where you are now, it is terrible, terrible pain. After initial 3-4 weeks when it would feel as the world came to an end and never in your life you will be happy again, you will start feeling better. You will survive and will be stronger and better person.

Congratulations on your ending. Stick around for support, people are great here.

XOXO
Gone

**Bloodied but unbowed**
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-2009
Sun, 03-21-2010 - 3:03pm
,,,,


Edited 4/28/2010 2:29 pm ET by jilly1983
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-04-2010
Sun, 03-21-2010 - 3:04pm
Trying to learn I can so relate. I busted my AP once by creating a fake profile and he immediately messaging once he accepted my friend request and asking to get together. He was furious said I was crazy insane etc. Got back together again and then busted him by going through his DROID phone and seeing all the emails and texts he was sending other women. Again, he denied said I was crazy they were just friends (I sure don't text my friends that kind of sexual texts) and I had invaded his privacy and he never wanted to speak with me again. That was one week ago today. It has been very hard but I know HE is the crazy one that needs ego strokes from way too many women. Get out while you can and never look back!!! Trust me if you do it will only cause you more heartache in the end.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2010
Sun, 03-21-2010 - 3:15pm

He's fed up because I was duplicious.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2009
Sun, 03-21-2010 - 6:53pm

TTL,


Welcome to endings. I hope you have been fervently reading the posts and the threads in the Healing Library.


<

   ~Iddy~ 


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2010
Mon, 03-22-2010 - 8:29am

Thanks, Iddy.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-18-2010
Mon, 03-22-2010 - 8:58am

Hi Iddy,


I was not going to comment but I just had to when I read your post about AM. You stated that people who were on AM were "sick and twisted".

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2009
Mon, 03-22-2010 - 9:33am

Running Girl,
After reading this thread, I went to AM to check it out. I will admit that I felt seedy even just looking at the site, but also I was forced to acknowledge that I was gunning for an A just as much as the people on the site - I just went about it in a different way. I didn't 'fall' into an A; I chased it down and lassoed it and saying anything different is just dodging responsibility. I needed to play a game with myself as I was getting into my A that I was not really doing what I was doing. That self-lie was really damaging.

I guess I'm sexist because I felt sympathy and hurt for the women on AM, but not so much for the men. That's really wrong - I mean, the men aren't having As all by themselves. ha.

How do you feel about the site now that you're out of your A?

Best,
Dee

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2010
Mon, 03-22-2010 - 10:02am
I don't think Iddy meant to offend you with her comment about the sick and twisted. I personally think that we were or are all sick and twisted to have participated in an A in the first place. I will admit that I pursued the MM relentlessly I had an A with. I literally begged and threw myself at him. That was a sick and twisted move. The fact that you went seeking an A on AM means that you are in a very bad place. I know, because I was once there also. If you examine why you posted an add looking for a long term A and really do the hard work to do some serious soul searching about why you need multiple partners in the first place you will realize that posting an add on an A website is not healthy. If you and your spouse agree to an open M that is different than one going out and searching for another partner behind the other one's back (KWIM). Imagine if your H found out you were posting an add on a hook up site.

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