No contact, no contact, no contact...

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2009
No contact, no contact, no contact...
16
Tue, 03-23-2010 - 1:13pm
Must. Keep. Repeating....ugh!!!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-09-2010
Tue, 03-23-2010 - 2:18pm

I always repeat to myself, "It doesn't matter". It's usually the answer to any question I have when it comes to xAP.

No contact, no contact, no contact...yes, but maybe remind yourself when you say it to add "no contact = no new hurts".

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-20-2009
Tue, 03-23-2010 - 2:31pm

I hear you alwayst.

BE the change that you want to see in the world! Life loves me and I love life! <3
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2009
Tue, 03-23-2010 - 2:39pm

Hugs right back to you, new_season!!! I don't know why some days are so dreadfully hard. I so wanted to email him last night but didn't. Now I can't seem to get him off my mind ALL FREAKIN' DAY today. I like bbear's suggestion of adding "It doesn't matter" to the NC mantra.


You WILL make it through the day because, honestly, neither one of us really wants to go back to that dark hole. 70 days is absolutely amazing! Just think, in another 20 days you'll be getting your Tweener wings!!! I am on Day 5. After three weeks NC, I spoke with him briefly. So yep, back to the beginning and missing him all over again.


But you know what? Deep down, I know I'm gonna be okay. You know that deep down, too. So......stay strong, sista!!!


Much love and hugs to you. ~alwayst

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2009
Tue, 03-23-2010 - 2:40pm

I agree with BBear. It simply doesn't matter. It's not going change anything and the contact will only make you feel worse about yourself, plus it would show that you are weak and needy. Whether you feel this way or not, no point in letting them know that. It was our weakness and neediness that got us into this mess in the first place.


I'll repeat what New Season said: NC = No New Hurts


((Hugs))

   ~Iddy~ 


iVillage Member
Registered: 10-04-2009
Tue, 03-23-2010 - 3:07pm

Always -


Whenever I feel dangerous close to doing something stupid (a/k/a breaking NC) I always repeat over and over to myself that absolutely NO good can come from it.

NC since October 2, 2009.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-20-2009
Tue, 03-23-2010 - 3:08pm

Thanks alwayst.

BE the change that you want to see in the world! Life loves me and I love life! <3
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2010
Tue, 03-23-2010 - 3:30pm
thank you all for this thread--i just ended things yesterday and am starting the NC thing. at least i'm doing NC on MY end...he's still texting..i'm trying to ignore them. the challenge for me is that i feel able to transition to friendship. i'm the one who ended things. but i know he can't handle it...he feels too strongly. its really great to hear all these success stories. im' proud of you guys, its an inspiration to me!
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-20-2009
Tue, 03-23-2010 - 3:50pm

Welcome esistentialist82 and Congrats on your commitment on NC...it truly is the beginning of the rest of your life, tho some days it may not feel like it (like me today).

BE the change that you want to see in the world! Life loves me and I love life! <3
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2010
Tue, 03-23-2010 - 4:26pm

Nothing wrong with the reminder :) I need it everyday, multiple times a day... and I do always add "it doesn't matter." Because anything to do with xap is irrelevant. He is no longer in my life (period!!!!!).

You are all amazing- no matter where you are on your journey. Keep moving forward. You can do it. You know what awaits you if you turn back.

New Season- love love love the idea of counting down to tweenerville! I am at day 54 today, which means, 36 days till tweener for me! I am over half way there. Wahoo...

Jane
NC since January 28, 2010
http://secretlifeofjane.wordpress.com/
Jane
NC/LC since January 28, 2010
http://secretlifeofjane.wordpress.com/
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-20-2009
Tue, 03-23-2010 - 4:34pm

You are right Jane....I'm going to use this one

BE the change that you want to see in the world! Life loves me and I love life! <3

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