Ask yourself why you are mad at him. Why are you mad at a man who came into your life wearing a big T-shirt saying I AM CHEATING ON MY WIFE. If a man cannot hold a commitment to the one he married why would you think he would be honest with you? Ask yourself why you allowed this man to sneak around with you in the first place. Anger is one of the stages of greif but if you really get real with yourself you will realize that you signed up with this liar and cheater. Also ask yourself if you are this mad imagine how his W feels. This man actually promised to love and cherish her and didn't. Go over to the BSS board and read about the pain some of the BS are going through. What you and I did was very selfish and being mad because you didn't get what you want is yet another selfish emotion. Kind of like my toddler when she takes someone else's toy and cries because she doesn't want to give it back. Think about it. He was never yours to begin with.
I can relate to venting. sometimes it just builds up and you have to let it out.
A good trick when you feel it begin to take over -
picture a STOP sign in your head.
and just STOP.
STOP the anger.
STOP thinking about him.
STOP the runaway feelings.
Just STOP.
Deliberately scrunch up all your muscles and then deliberately relax them. when you relax, smile the biggest smile you can. Then think of something that went right today.
no I'm not crazy - the purpose - the stop sign helps you gain control of your runaway thoughts and anger rather than allowing yourself to dwell on it. then you purposly remove the tension that anger has created by relaxing your muscles. the smile releases dopamine which lifts your mood. The positive thought stays in your mind keeping the lift. These tricks were given to me by my former Therapist.
Edited 4/28/2010 2:32 pm ET by jilly1983
Hi Jilly :)
I have to agree with whyaswhy here.
I can relate to venting. sometimes it just builds up and you have to let it out.
A good trick when you feel it begin to take over -
picture a STOP sign in your head.
and just STOP.
STOP the anger.
STOP thinking about him.
STOP the runaway feelings.
Just STOP.
Deliberately scrunch up all your muscles and then deliberately relax them. when you relax, smile the biggest smile you can. Then think of something that went right today.
no I'm not crazy - the purpose - the stop sign helps you gain control of your runaway thoughts and anger rather than allowing yourself to dwell on it. then you purposly remove the tension that anger has created by relaxing your muscles. the smile releases dopamine which lifts your mood. The positive thought stays in your mind keeping the lift. These tricks were given to me by my former Therapist.
Hi Jil,