Just thinking about M
Find a Conversation
Just thinking about M
| Fri, 03-26-2010 - 3:20pm |
I‘ve been thinking, how do we make our marriages work again, after all the time we spent in the A (months/years) we have worked our asses off building walls and pushing

Love you New Season.
It never ceases to amaze me how your words could be my words. What you wrote, I have written. Your thoughts seem to be my thoughts. For us M gals here, I think your words will resonate with most. This is a struggle. Marriage is hard work... oh man is it hard work. I had no idea. I thought running away would be easier. All running away did was cause a huge mess that I now have to clean up.
So, now it's on me to regain his trust. My DH is wonderful. He has forgiven me. We are in MC and working on our communication (that is what was at the root of most of our issues). I am learning to reopen to him. I am pushing myself to be honest with him about everything, to let him back in... I had closed him off. Now that I am more open, more affectionate, more "in" the relationship, he is reciprocating and things between us have never been better. We are on the same team again. He is safe. He is comfortable. He is home.
I expect all of our journeys back to our M's to be different. But I suspect that if we are honest with ourselves at each step, honest with our H's at each step, and willing to really invest our whole selves back into it, things will begin to rebuilt and the M will be better than it ever was. I am not grateful for my A, but I am grateful that it brought me back to my H before I walked away for good.
NC/LC since January 28, 2010
http://secretlifeofjane.wordpress.com/
NC/LC since January 28, 2010
http://secretlifeofjane.wordpress.com/
Yep, what we did was run away
i have struggling with many of the same thoughts this week... i am very happy to have come across your post today...
"I really am grateful for the security, familiarity and history that my M offers.
~ life....
http://nomoreblues.wordpress.com/
Oh just leave me just get out of my head
'Cause I can't ta
I really needed to hear this today, new_season. Thanks so much for sharing your insight.
I am struggling with my M for a variety of reasons. Not sure I want to stay in it, was pretty positive I wanted out of the M while in the midst of my A (but not because I thought there was a life with xap). We've been married 27 years and we are just so vastly different from one another. We are absolutely on opposite ends of the spectrum. But he is a good, kind person. I am a very young 47 and he is acting like an old man of 50. I can't stand it any more. Our kids are grown and gone (no grands yet!), we are both healthy and in good physical shape. We should be having the time of our lives. Instead, we simply co-exist. No fights. No passion. Just shared meals and bed space. But I agree whole-heartedly with you in the
So glad I could of any help to anyone...thank you so much...
hugs and much love...Happy Easter too!
XOXO
Gone