Isn't this contradictory?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-10-2010
Isn't this contradictory?
5
Fri, 03-26-2010 - 5:54pm
We all know that NC is the way to go. I have personally found that when I am NC - I think about him less vs when I am LC with him.I don't think about him much when I don't have any contact or see him.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2009
Sat, 03-27-2010 - 10:23am

My guess is

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-01-2008
Sat, 03-27-2010 - 10:35am

Dear kmg6,


I was so shocked recently to read that physical contact creates chemicals that make you long for someone....No wonder we get addicted....just like all other drugs or alcohol, just these chemicals are produced by our own bodies.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2009
Sat, 03-27-2010 - 10:35am

Gal-
Going NC is not a guarantee that the "work" to address the underlaying reasons for the A are addressed and concurred, ykwim? Going NC and just be a 'holding stage'. Reaching indifference can be just that one has fallen out of infatuation/love/lust with AP, and nothing more. The REAL issues of self improvement and healing might not have been addressed; this leaves a person vulnerable to another A, or perhaps even going back to xAP, if one is _that_ self destructive that an A, even with a totally 'icky' partner, fulfills that damaging purpose.

Ok, I have not had enough coffee yet to express myself well. I hope you get what I'm saying. ha.

xoxo
Dee

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2009
Sat, 03-27-2010 - 10:49am

Ah, the chemicals.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-06-2007
Sun, 03-28-2010 - 1:14pm
Ya know, I found that a while after NC, I felt something was missing in my life. I zeroed in on the fact it was of course the stupid highs from xAP. Yeah, it was tough to get through. I think part of the reason I got involved with xAP was the incredible amount of attention he lavished on me for 3 yrs. Then, after I said adios, I was numb. But I soon realized I got that void filled from other things in my life. I got high praise and attention from some design work I did. That made me feel like I didn't need xAP. Also at during that gloomy period, I found FB. Gosh, it was so much fun rediscovering old friends. I reached out to my girlfriends and did things with them. The feel goods from the affair were a drug! And detoxing was hard! But the simple things made me happy again and made me feel whole. I just had to open my heart and mind to it. I did recognize what xAP did for me and I knew to escape the "drugs", I had to find new drugs of choice!