I don't know why he called today....

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-01-2008
I don't know why he called today....
10
Fri, 03-26-2010 - 10:14pm

why did xap call me today?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2009
Fri, 03-26-2010 - 10:29pm

first of all, buddy, this step forward is HUGE and you deserve a big hug and a high five and a "whoop-whoop!" i know it is early in your ending and that you have been having a hard time of it, but when you were first posting here, you did not have the strength or presence of mind to resist like you just did. i am very proud of your efforts.
secondly---why did he call? who gives a rat's @$$? he has NOTHING to offer you but suffering, degradation and misery. anyone up for that. thanks, but i believe i'll pass on it. you too?
hugs,

lillie

silence is eloquent, silence is dignified, silence is heard. ...
silence is eloquent, silence is dignified, silence is heard. ...
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-04-2009
Fri, 03-26-2010 - 10:56pm

Buddy- we are very simiar in that we had long term affairs. My xap also called me 6 and 12 weeks after he told me he "didn't want to do this anymore.". I also ignored the calls but was very angry that he dared to call me at all and then that he didn't have the decency to leave a mmsg or send me a txt explaining what he wanted. Like you, I assume that he thought I would jump at the open opportunity to reconnect with him. Unfortunately for him those 2 fishing attempts only strengthened my resolve to stay NC and reminded me how selfish he is and that he has no respect for me esp after HE ended things. Plus, he would ALWAYS be the one to break NC and drag me back into the muck (ok, I was responsible for choosing to go, but he could never leave me alone!)

My best advice to you is to stay strong. I haven't had a fishng attempt in 2 months and I hope it continues. I am maintaining the "power" and I like thinking that he's flabbergasted that I didn't jump at the first attempt, let alone the second. I'll bet he knows I mean business now and that when I said I was done, I meant it.

(hugs)

Gal

NC since October 2, 2009.

NC since October 2, 2009.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-01-2008
Sat, 03-27-2010 - 3:09am

dear lillialma,


you are right.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-01-2008
Sat, 03-27-2010 - 3:29am

Dear Gal,


I also felt it a lack of respect that he did not leave a message or say what he wanted, but like you, it just strenghtened my resolve.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2009
Sat, 03-27-2010 - 9:35am

Buddy~


First of all, WTG in not answering that fishing attempt. Your resolve is taking hold and I am very proud of you. Even though I work with XMM, in the beginning of my LC he would send cryptic messages through email like, "I hate having to let you go," and I just ignored them. Do you think he could say this stuff to my face? I mean, I'm right there sitting across the room from him 5 days a week.

   ~Iddy~ 


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-01-2008
Sat, 03-27-2010 - 10:30am

Thank you so much, Iddy.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2009
Sat, 03-27-2010 - 11:46am

((Buddy))


<>


I'm not one to give up on a worthy cause, and I see much value and worth in you, honey. I know only too well how our affections/emotions can get the better of us, especially when our souls

   ~Iddy~ 


iVillage Member
Registered: 11-09-2009
Sat, 03-27-2010 - 1:45pm

First...Kudos to you for not answering that call!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2006
Sun, 03-28-2010 - 6:32pm

Buddy,


If your xAP has a borderline personality disorder this could be a possible explanation:

 

~TTS

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-01-2008
Sun, 03-28-2010 - 9:26pm
Thank you, Timetosoar.