If you haven't seen Unfaithful lately...

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2010
If you haven't seen Unfaithful lately...
9
Mon, 08-23-2010 - 2:57pm

Watch it! So I'm working from home today, which means I'm on EAS, doing laundry, watching tv, and oh yeah, doing work ;)

So guess what's on. Unfaithful. Brilliant flick about affairs, with amazing performances by Diane Lane and Richard Gere. I saw this movie years ago when it first came out, but at that time, I wasn't married, and I had certainly never cheated on anybody.

Well it means something different now. Suddenly, all of the pain of the A is placed into sharp focus by amazing acting and directing. The subtlety of the impact of the A is really well conveyed; the guilt, the shame, the anger, the resentment. The initial sense of invigoration that comes with the passion and danger of a new A is quickly replaced by the sense of constant mental preoccupation (the scene where the pot is boiling over in the kitchen because she's so distracted was absolutely powerful to me). Richard Gere tries to reach out to his wife, to no avail, he also fails to truly understand what led her into a place of loneliness and despair.

I'm watching the end of it right now, and I'm reminded of what an amazing man I have in my husband, and what a smoke and mirrors show the whole A was. Did I care about my AP? yes. but could it hold a candle to what I have with my H? no. i only hope one day he realizes that too.

just wanted to share :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-25-2010
Mon, 08-23-2010 - 3:07pm

Hi Exi


Maybe i should rent it out on DVD.....


I was going to fill my void with scanning and catalogueing 30 years of all our old photos from Uni, thru holidays thru babies thru to he present from 35mm film to digital .... good cathartic memory tugging bonding stuff.... will take months !!


For now,

New Choices, New Chapter,


New Challenges,

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2005
Mon, 08-23-2010 - 3:30pm

Spectacular movie!


iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2010
Mon, 08-23-2010 - 3:48pm
Yes, great movie. Diane Lane
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2010
Mon, 08-23-2010 - 3:51pm

clarity, maybe i was projecting some of my own stuff onto diane lane's character ;)

i did feel, however, that their was something very humdrum about her life with richard gere and that her AP's "in the moment" mentality gave her a sense of possibility and excitement, in contrast to her husband's buttoned up seriousness. despair was too strong a word to use, but i definitely think there was some loneliness there.

its painful to see richard gere's character sort of watch his wife grow more and more distant. like, he obviously knows something's up, but he doesn't know how to address it, and for her, the closer she grows to AP, the harder it is to engage with H. all of that really resonated with me. i remember moments where my H would be trying to click with me and excite me, but i was just too far in the fog to appreciate it.

btw, clarity, i think the actress you are thinking of is Angela Bassett.

another excellent film about adultery is Closer, starring julia roberts, jude law, natalie portman and clive owen (yum..clive owen!). this movie is far more cynical and i dont think the performances can compare to diane lane's in Unfaithful, but what this movie does is show us how ephemeral feelings are, how easy it is to get caught up in something and succumb to passion. the characters are selfish and hardened, and in that way, it might be hard for any of us to admit relating to them, but i think its a smart story about relationships in modern times.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2005
Mon, 08-23-2010 - 4:06pm

Angela Bassett, right!


iVillage Member
Registered: 05-22-2010
Tue, 08-24-2010 - 8:21am

nocomp wanted more movies...how about Casablanca? It was on TV the other day. All the other times I saw it (A or no A) I could not understand why she did not stay with Rick. This time since A fog is starting to lift (still a newbie) I found myself cheering for the H. If Ingrid B. can walk away with such class, so can I.


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2010
Tue, 08-24-2010 - 11:00am

julia-good on ya, i forgot that casablanca addressed this issue. we always think of it as a classic romance film, but its actually about recognizing that the world is much bigger than you and me and our feelings. really puts the selfishness of the A into focus, no?

i particularly like when Victor is, in his own way, confronting Ilsa about her time with Rick, and he says, "Were you lonely Ilsa? Because I know what it is to be lonely". She doesn't tell him, but her eyes say it all. priceless.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2009
Tue, 08-24-2010 - 12:13pm

I just wanted to say THANKS for this thread. I have been reminiscing today and seeing XMM in this soft light that hides all his flaws. I have been thinking about how even though the relationship wasnt real, my feelings for him were. I know, not your typical GMLB thoughts and Im sure the "normal" GMLB will be kicking the "mushy" GMLB's a$$ here pretty darn quickly.


Ive never seen Unfaithful but I obviously need to. So many movies are about men cheating and it sounds like this one is about her cheating. From your description, I can already see myself in her. What was said about Richard Gere's confusion and hurt about watching his wife grow more and more distant definately hit home for me. My M may have been boring but it certainly wasnt dysfunctional by any means so I know my H saw me pull away. The intimacy between us disappeared and so did our friendship. I know H hurt and he was a lost man trying to figure out how to get back what we once had and struggled to figure out why he lost it in the 1st place.


Thanks for posting this, I needed to be brought back to a level frame of mind today and this helped.


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2010
Tue, 08-24-2010 - 12:41pm

gmlb--so glad to hear that this helped you!! do you have netflix? if not, just go to your local video store and rent it today.

adultery movies do center around narcisstic cake eating men who are just destroying their doting wives. remember sex, lies and videotape (mmm...james spader...). but we all know that adultery rarely follows those cliches, and this is a great movie about a chance encounter that went someplace very danger. just a warning, it is a little bit hollywood-ified, but it's a good one nonetheless.