Well...

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-20-2009
Well...
8
Tue, 08-24-2010 - 3:24pm

I have been encouraged to come to the board with this.

BE the change that you want to see in the world! Life loves me and I love life! <3
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2009
In reply to: new_season
Tue, 08-24-2010 - 4:43pm

Okay, NS, here it goes.


CHOOSE YOU!


All I have to say about the birthday wishes is "BIG Deal." When my birthday came around after our ending, Mr. Bossman asked me out for lunch. Normal protocol for office people. Without hesitating I said, "No thanks. I'll be taking that day off." I wanted to

   ~Iddy~ 


iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2008
In reply to: new_season
Tue, 08-24-2010 - 5:52pm

Hi NS,


Sorry you got the phishing text. Phishing attempts suck!!!


You know I like to do the ol’ what they said vs what they meant. So if you will indulge me I would like to rewrite the text from Mr. I’m All That:


I’m texting you some Happy B-day wishes because this way it doesn’t look like I’m disrespecting you by breaking NC. It looks like I’m well intentioned and actually thinking about your special day. It is however just a convenient way for me to weasel my way in and not look obvious about it. I know you were probably spending the day with family but I could not let you enjoy the day without me injecting myself into it. Because I know that I am so important to you that your day would not be complete without me sending your B-day wishes. Oh but my real intentions are not just to wish you a Happy B-day.

Whether you think you can or you think you can't you are probably right. A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2010
In reply to: new_season
Wed, 08-25-2010 - 8:58am

Hi NS- You know how I feel about this fishing attempt. I saved all of the expletives I used to describe your xap for the email; however, I wanted to chime in here and say that you were one of the people here who reached out to me in the early days of this journey (as we are only a few weeks apart) and your strength has pulled me through in some very dark times. You pushed me. You asked me questions. You made me see things differently. Most importantly, you showed me that indifference was not only possible, but just around the corner. You gave me hope and continue to give me hope even though I feel stuck in crisis still at almost 7 months out (though we both know that crisis now is a lot more tolerable than crisis then). And it was you who always, always, always reminded me that this too shall pass and it is just another growth spurt.


So embrace this experience as another growth spurt. You now know the incredible healing power of NC... use that to propel you past this. Take your power back... he caved. He needed an ego stroke and succumbed to the pressure. Well guess what NS? You aren't going to give him what he wants. You are going to remain in NC and stay strong and remember that this will make you even stronger. This is a minor speed bump on your road to recovery. And like I said in my email, the road only goes one way- forward... so take one last look at your A fading in the distance, measure that distance, and take solace in the fact that you've made it 7 months and Jane is holding your hand so tightly there's no way in hell you are going to take a step in the wrong direction. I need you here beside me.


Hugs,


Jane
NC/LC since January 28, 2010
http://secretlifeofjane.wordpress.com/
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-20-2009
In reply to: new_season
Wed, 08-25-2010 - 11:12am

E1, and Iddy

BE the change that you want to see in the world! Life loves me and I love life! <3
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2009
In reply to: new_season
Wed, 08-25-2010 - 12:50pm

NS,


I have been thinking of you since I saw your post late last night and couldnt wait to respond this morning.


You are a strong and very wise woman who helped guide me to Tweenerville. You also helped support me when I was in a panic due to my unexpected email. Its because of you that I now see my bad days as growth spurts.


The text you recieved was his way of playing Ding Dong Ditch. He knocked, ran and hid. He wants the ball in your court so you can respond and provide him with an ego boost.


New, you should hold your head up high. We will all march forward and with each step forward we are putting more distance between us and our A's. When you know better, you do better and we can look back and see how far we have some. We can see how dark it was back there and know that we will never lower ourselves ever again.


The text may have thrown you into a slight tailspin but not for long. You are a shining star with compassion, patience and a soft voice of reason who has helped many on this board.


New, my dear, YOU have the world at YOUR finger tips too!!! He may have rang that doorbell and run off but you kept that door locked and bolted shut and for that, I am so very proud of you!!!


Love,


GMLB

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-06-2007
In reply to: new_season
Wed, 08-25-2010 - 1:15pm
I've only got a spare second here, but hang in there and don't let your emotions get the best of you. Don't be a doormat to yourself - that make any sense? Stand up for what you know is right and fight those inner demons. You know you will be proud of yourself when you pull through this. Try to separate the emotions that are associated with the touchy feely part of the affair from the reality that you must live in day to day. Dissect them one by one if you must - ya know, I feel this way because of this, this hurts because of this, and so on.... worked for me. Best of luck n_s.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-20-2009
In reply to: new_season
Wed, 08-25-2010 - 2:31pm

I loved the Ding Dong Ditch thing!...too funny, but it is true isn't it?

BE the change that you want to see in the world! Life loves me and I love life! <3
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-20-2009
In reply to: new_season
Wed, 08-25-2010 - 2:38pm

Thanks bandk..I have tons of respect for everything you say and I feel honored to have you in my court.

BE the change that you want to see in the world! Life loves me and I love life! <3