My Definition of a Player/Predator

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2009
My Definition of a Player/Predator
5
Wed, 08-25-2010 - 9:23am

Hi all on EAS--yes long time I have not been here, lurking, surviving, getting counseling and discovering.


So long story short for all who forgot my sad story, 2 year friendship--almost, with ex-AP, one year physical, the fight by him to maintain a friendship even though I knew the EA would be the worst to lose, no sex with him for a year now, His D-day back in April, his pushing of me out of his life, swearing to get counseling and working on his marriage, how being friends now with me

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2006
Wed, 08-25-2010 - 11:29am

Welcome to EAS!


Just when I think people can't get any lower, along your story comes.

Onward and upward.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2006
Wed, 08-25-2010 - 12:42pm

Hello Lilolita:

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2009
Thu, 08-26-2010 - 8:53am

You all don't know the other sick half of it---I can tell you privately but lets say he has made sure this other girl has reason to be talking to him and his WIFE.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2010
Thu, 08-26-2010 - 10:31am

Even if he is a predator or serial cheater you must also examine yourself to determine why you allowed a MM to "pursue" you. You went into this relationship knowing that he was M. You had a "friendship" with a MM which I'm sure was really an EA. I'm willing to bet that if his W witness all of the intimate conversations you had with her DH she wouldn't be pleased. You really are putting so much emphasis on his behavior when you should really be trying to figure out how you can stop dishonest men like him from thinking it's OK to "pursue" you. Why were you OK with him hiding you and lying to his W? That's the question you should be asking yourself and start re-evaluating how you feel about yourself and why you are willing to settle for a deceitful relationship.


Someone could say the very same thing about all of us who have had an A. Women who don't cheat call us terrible names and don't understand how we could ever do that. We are all guilty of bad behavior and focusing on your XAP and his behavior takes the focus off of you and hinders your ability to resolve your own issues which caused you to cheat with him. Continue to block and walk from this man and don't worry about his bad behavior. Examine your own bad behavior. It is time for you to have an honest talk with your DH about your need for intimacy because if you keep searching for men for a FWB all kind of creeps are going to come out of the wood works.