send me your good vibes :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2010
send me your good vibes :)
20
Wed, 08-25-2010 - 5:44pm

I know I need to take my own advice about not worrying about something that might not even happen, but I'm feeling anxiety about tomorrow. I have a golf outing for charity that XAP and I have both played in for years. It was postponed from about a month ago because of rain and now it's tomorrow. I'm counting on him playing in the afternoon - that's when he always has, so I changed my foursome to the morning tee time so there wouldn't be a chance that we would end up starting on the same hole - God forbid. There is a chance our paths could cross when we finish and the afternoon golfers begin. I'll be wearing my baseball hat and dark sunglasses so I can "hide". It's not that I'm wanting to go up and strike up a conversation with him - that won't happen. I'm just sick to my stomach because this will be the first time I could actually see him (other than stalking me in the car). Wish me strength to not lose my breakfast if I do. :) Thanks!

Bodhi

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2010
Wed, 08-25-2010 - 5:57pm

Consider it done...all day long!

I hope the anxiety passes quickly and you go and enjoy something that YOU love to do. There is a reason you have been playing for years, and its not just to be with XAP, its cause YOU love it.

And if you do cross paths, and you hide on the outside, know that on the inside you are hiding nothing! You are free.

There is a reason it was raining a month ago...so now embrace the sunshine that will be shinning from both above and within!

So, eat a small breakfast, take a deep breath on that first tee, and if you end up in the trees at any point...HUG one for me! :)

I mean after all, If Bodhi can do it....

Wishing you now, tomorrow and always
Peace&Light
FoggyI do not know what is next in life...but at least I know what is NOT!




Edited 8/25/2010 6:14 pm ET by mmlostinfog
I do not know what is next in life...but at least I know what is NOT!
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-31-2009
Wed, 08-25-2010 - 6:18pm

Bodhi,


I've had similar situations arise many times over the past 8 months and I feel your pain!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2009
Wed, 08-25-2010 - 7:20pm

Bodhi,
Best of luck playing tomorrow and don't stress about Xap too much. Whatever will be will be and don't let this ruin your day. Just let it flow over you. You're going to be the picture of composure and grace!!! But, if you see X and really just _must_ throw up, aim for his golf bag. Just a thought.

Wishing you well,
Dee

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-25-2010
Wed, 08-25-2010 - 7:32pm


To 'The Body'


If you dropped from 205 to 105 on meeting xAP then that IS your new nickname ........


Noe seriously..... VISUALSATION............. this is what will help you get thru...


Visualise in your head

New Choices, New Chapter,


New Challenges,

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2010
Wed, 08-25-2010 - 8:41pm

Thanks Foggy :)

<<>>

I never thought of it that way! You're right, I'm a month stronger and healthier. I'll try to stay away from the trees, but I have been known to prune a few.

<<>>

That's right - I'll send her in the morning instead of me! She probably plays better too :)

Bodhi

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2010
Wed, 08-25-2010 - 8:44pm

Thanks (((CSN))))

<<>>

That's exactly why I didn't cancel all together. I thought about it, but I thought why should I? XAP would sure never do that. I don't want to lose out on a nice day at a worthy event.

No eye contact is right - I'm not taking my sunglasses off either!

Bodhi

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2010
Wed, 08-25-2010 - 8:46pm

Thanks Dee :)

You have no idea how much I would love to barf in his golf bag. You know, if he does play in the morning, and the opportunity presented itself, I could shank one his way and forget to yell fore....

Bodhi

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2010
Wed, 08-25-2010 - 8:59pm

NC - you crack me up. The Body - needs to be spelled The Bodhy!

<<>>

I've always weighed 105 silly - XAP weighed 205 when we met. He's gained about 40 pounds over the past several years. I joke that I lost 250 pounds 8 weeks ago when I ended it!

Great idea to anticipate and visualize. Unfortunately, none of my friends know. There have been many times that I've had to "front" while with them when I was dying inside. I really don't know what to expect if there is an opening for contact. My guess is that he will stay away, but will absolutely watch my every move if he can.

There's no way we'll NARGA tomorrow - we have a "ringer". Do you guys use the term? If not, it means we have a really, really good golfer in our group - and it ain't me!

Thank you and EVERYONE for the vibes. I will have you all with me tomorrow. :)

Bodhi

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2009
Wed, 08-25-2010 - 9:03pm

Bodhi,


<<>>


Hey, it's always easier giving out advice than taking it. ;-) As far as tomorrow goes, you've gotten some great advice much worth taking. Puking in his golf bag was my favorite. LOL. Anyway, one of my favorite little sayings has always been, "Don't trouble trouble until trouble troubles you. Even then, you now have the tools to get yourself out of any jam (re:JAM ;-), so have some faith in yourself.


Enjoy the outing, remember what it's for, have a great game, and let the chips fall where they may. Just be your cute little self and if your mind starts messing with you, silently hum "Bye Bye, Birdie," and I'm not talking about your score. ;-)


((Hugs))

   ~Iddy~ 


iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2009
Wed, 08-25-2010 - 10:12pm

Unless you're 4'9'' and weigh 105, then you are a b*tch and I hope you get hit with a golf cart!!!!!! ;)

go for it, Body!
Dee

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