I WANT TO SCREAM AT HIM

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2010
I WANT TO SCREAM AT HIM
9
Fri, 08-27-2010 - 5:05pm

I've been doing a lot of reading on abuse in relationships today.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2010
Fri, 08-27-2010 - 5:51pm

pinky,
you wanna scream? scream! and then compose yourself, and tell yourself that you came to a major realization. this is huge!! so you realize that you tend to attract abusive men. identifying this is the first step to breaking the pattern. in T, your therapist will ideally help you understanding what it is in YOU that is drawn to men like that, and how that co-dependency is perpetuated. you'll start examining your previous relationships and seeing patterns across the board. hopefully, in coming to a greater understanding, you'll be able to break these patterns in your own M, and do what's best for you, whatever you may be.

but in the interim, allow yourself to feel whatever you need to. you'll be pissed, then you'll be sad, then you'll be pissed at yourself, then you'll be pissed at these men--it's a process. but, its also a cathartic one. let these feelings out, do some self discovery, and set some changes in motion so you never get stuck in this sitch again.

good for you girl. we're rooting for ya!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2008
Wed, 09-01-2010 - 8:17am
Hi Pinky. I cant help but be worried for you when you say you see abusive tendencies in H. I hope you have a safety net in case it gets really bad. I have been that angry at exAP and it felt great to blast him (in my head). Right now the main thing is to take care of YOU:)
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2010
Wed, 09-01-2010 - 9:14am
Remember that you allowed him to treat you this way. If screaming helps but make sure you put the responsibility on your own shoulders for getting involved with him in the first place. Your anger is misdirected. Use your anger to understand why you are allowing men to abuse you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2010
Wed, 09-01-2010 - 2:11pm

Thanks you and I partially agree with you mmb, as I said in the original post I am angry with myself for allowing him to abuse me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2010
Wed, 09-01-2010 - 2:13pm
Wait, I stand corrected.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2010
Wed, 09-01-2010 - 2:24pm

Thank you for your words of concern.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2010
Thu, 09-02-2010 - 12:23pm
Pinky...how are you doing today?
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2010
Thu, 09-02-2010 - 4:22pm

My anger has dissolved into pity.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2010
Thu, 09-02-2010 - 4:45pm

How did I miss this post from way back on the 27th?