Find a Conversation
|Fri, 04-07-2000 - 4:49pm|
I didn't sleep well last night or the night before, I know all of you will assume it is a caffiene side affect but I have to come clean, it wasn't. I have been having nightmares. Each night I goto bed at my normal time and meditate for a few minutes to relieve my daily stress. Lately though it has been getting harder and harder to goto sleep.
Let me explain. The dream begins innocenntly. I wake up, get out of bed, you know a normal morning. I go into my bathroom and there IT is. The scale. I step up and wait, half fearful, half hopeful, that the numbers will be good. The red glow of the digital scale seems to glare at me from the floor. I timidly try to shift my weight to affect the reading, it doesn't work. I quickly jump off the scale, before the numbers come up. I strip off my clothes, goto the bathroom, take out my ponytail holder and then turn back to the metallic monster of insensitivity. I take a deep breath, exhale until I feel myself choking and slowly step on the scale. The numbers blink, then stabilize.
The morning light isn't bright enough to dim their glow. A constant number has been found and announced. I jump off the scale, pick it up in both arms and run outside (still naked) into my garage. I grab a hammer and begin to destroy my nemeisis. However, the same man that invented the anti-theft device on clothing also invented this. (why couldn't this guy work on panty hose next time) It is indestructible. I throw the scale against the wall, watching it vainly try to reset itself without any weight for reference. I stride back in my house to get ready for work.
I get home that evening, fairly relaxed after my morning. I step into my bathroom to freshen up. There it is. Returned to its perfect spot, the digital scale. Only this time, there are two of them. One is an old fashioned model you can buy at any drugstore. Only I didn't buy it. Oh god, what does it mean, with every day there are more and more of them. Scales everywhere, at the grocery store (you don't really weigh your vegetables do you?), at the butcher, at the candy store (what are you doing at a candy store you are on a diet)even, at the pharmacy they have a scale where you can check your weight and your blood pressure. All of them give you a different reading, somehow they have managed to create some secret language that allows them to show you up 5lbs or down 8lbs. It is all their will. It depends on what time of day it is, what you had for lunch yesterday, when your first child was born, what your credit rating is.
They are evil, evil I tell you. Slowly taking over the human race by manipulation of our vanity and ego. Soon we will no longer have names but weights. We won't remember in years but in pounds. Old folks will say, when I was 65lbs, instead of saying when I was a child. Oh the humanity.
Well that is where I wake up and remember that I have to weigh this morning to make sure my stall really is broken. But one day I am going to get brave enough to take the batteries out of my scale, give them to my hubby and tell him to hide them. Then we will see who needs who, then we will see who breaks first. Not me, I don't weigh more than 4 times day. Well okay, maybe 6 but only if I am working that day.