is it ok to fantasize when married?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2008
is it ok to fantasize when married?
22
Thu, 02-28-2008 - 3:30am
is it ok for me to fantasy with a family friend about having sex... etc when i am married all we do it just play out fantasys on the computer he is married and i am too but hes older than me is it ok.. it kinda turns me on just thinking about the fantasys that we come up with i like talkin to him and we both are attracted to each other in a

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2005
Thu, 02-28-2008 - 6:29am


resize2.jpg image by Roy5k2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2006
Thu, 02-28-2008 - 6:45am
The question to ask yourself is how would your spouse feel if he discovered that you were playing online with this other man? Would he think it's okay, or would he feel betrayed?




iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2003
Thu, 02-28-2008 - 9:08am
I think it is good that you have an outlet but becareful. As others stated it could turn into something else. Also I have to agree how would you hubby feel if he found out? I have a male friend that we do this also but I dont' care what my hubby thinks. I know it would hurt him deeply but that is me not you. Do you feel guilt? Can you act these out with your hubby even if it were online ? The reason I say online is because sometimes we can be more open behind a computer and lets face it things always work out better in the fantasy world than in real life. Why not try sending hubby a steamy email?
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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-2007
Thu, 02-28-2008 - 9:33am

well, I'll drop my two pennies.


fantasizing is one thing, sharing them with someone other than your SO IMO is borderline at best.

~ Last year I received a kidney transplant from my older brother from another state. I'm glad and thankful the operation as a success. Just don't tell him that now i have 3!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-20-2007
Thu, 02-28-2008 - 10:58am
I can speak from personal experience here. You are walking a very thin line here, because it is easy to get over your head, especially when he is a family friend, because he is more than a screen name on the computer. He is someone you and your DH know in person. It is all too easy to get hot and steamy very quickly with someone online and move beyound that. I agree with the others in that you have to put yourself in your DH's shoes and think about how you would feel if you found out that he was doing this with a female friend. I've seen too many relationships break up because of the Internet. Why not take those fantasies and use them to deepen your marriage? Make your DH the star of your fantasies.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2005
Thu, 02-28-2008 - 10:05pm

Sorry for posting this too All. But why is it easier for us to communicate with someone over a computer or a chat window. Why is it easier to tell that stranger your deep dark


resize2.jpg image by Roy5k2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2007
Thu, 02-28-2008 - 10:15pm

"Why cant we tell our spouses,lovers etc these intimate details.Is it a fear of rejection? Or what?"


Maybe she has sent naughty texts to her spouse and they have gone unanswered.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2005
Thu, 02-28-2008 - 10:19pm

This is true, very true



resize2.jpg image by Roy5k2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2007
Thu, 02-28-2008 - 10:22pm
Is there something lacking in your marriage that you feel you need to do this?
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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2008
Fri, 02-29-2008 - 3:10am
i would tell my hubby about this but he gets really jelious when i talk to other guys about anything sexual

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