Time to try a fantasy

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2008
Time to try a fantasy
4
Sun, 10-05-2008 - 10:48am

Hi. Before I begin, let me give you some backround info. I am new to the D/s lifestle but my ISHA is not. He is going real slow with me as he says he doesn't want to spook me. However, so far, nothing we've done has been new to me.


The other day, I asked him when we were going to step this up a notch, try something new. He asked what I wanted to try. Said I didn't really know, just something new, like fantasies or something. He asked what fantasies I had. I got real quiet. I wanted to tell him but something inside me kept me from talking.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-10-1999
Sun, 10-05-2008 - 6:08pm

If you are unsure about whether you are being too dominant by bringing up what you want while out of bed, then ask him about it. I think some doms would have no problem with you doing something like that while other doms would. Likewise, I think some subs would prefer to ask for what they want when outside of the bedroom, while other subs would think it ruins the sense of being dominated if they can ever bring that stuff up. You two need to decide amongst yourselves how you want to handle that.

I get the impression that you are still curious what his reasons were for not tying you up in bed and that you are still wondering whether or not he will do it. I don't think asking him if he will or not is the same as telling him what to do. You may want to ask and let him know you are asking just to fulfill your curiosity if you prefer.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2008
Sun, 10-05-2008 - 6:52pm

He has encouraged me to tell him what I want. Wants me to speak freely about it. It is something within myself that stops me. I do not feel comfortable asking. I want to ask but when I try, most of the time, the words will not come out. I know this is something I have to work on. However, he doesn't ask for anything verbally either. When he wants me to touch him, he puts my hand where he wants it. When he wants a BJ, he gently puts my head there.


Outside the bedroom, he usually doesn't ask anything either. I just know what he wants before he asks most times. Or I'll ask him if he wants or needs anything. I try to anticipate his needs.


After I posted my question on here, I did ask him when or if we were going to act on that fantasy He said it will happen but

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2006
Mon, 10-06-2008 - 8:37am
Maybe he's just waiting to make sure it's something you really want, and not something you're trying to do just to please him. Continue talking to him and asking him things.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-10-1999
Mon, 10-06-2008 - 7:54pm
If he says it will happen, then you should expect it will. My guess is that it is one of the things he wants to work his way up to. He probably wants to make sure you are comfortable with all the softer things before he does that.