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| Tue, 11-11-2008 - 12:12am |
So some of you may remember me... for those who don't, I love to be dominated, especially in a manner that involves bondage. When I first frequented this forum, I was dating a man who was, if anything, kinkier than I was. Now that he and I have split up, I'm dating a man who is very... vanilla. The sex is great, even better than what I had with the ex, but I miss the wilder stuff. How do I go about testing the waters?

Hi there,
For me, i found communication to be the best first step. I had tried givign DH cues in bed to spank me or hold me down, tie me up etc...but he just wasnt very responsive. After a few months with no results I decided to just talk to him. Sometime when you two are alone bring up the topic of sex, even if its in a playful manner to get a dialogue going. I wouldn't mention the ex, but telling him that you'd like him to be a little rougher with you or that you'd like to try some bondage (just very light bondage if he scares easy lol) and see how he responds. If he's positive about it, then go into more detail about what you want. If he seems skittish of the idea, just let i marinate with him for a while and revisit the subject.
I've found in my experience that vocalizing what you want is the best way to go. Men can often be oblivious to small cues in the bedroom, and most will find it refreshing that you're willing to ask for what you want. Let us know how it goes!
Lothiriel is right on the money. Tell him what you like - I like it rough. May want to ask and see if he has any fantasies he would like to fulfill - have you ever tied your partner up? Have the conversation before you are in bed.
Hope this helps.
Aloha,
MWC
Go Herd!
He could definitely enjoy himself!
Tell us how things go
Edited 11/13/2008 7:40 pm ET by manwithcats