Ok, I'll spill, but it's not pretty a...
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|Mon, 06-05-2000 - 2:55pm|
Ok, I'll spill, but it's not pretty and it's not short.......(m)
Guess I'm going to need abit of support, I'll try not to lean too hard. I'm going to be single again. How do you add to that, how do you expand without losing it? I know I can make it, I can do it, in fact it is my decision. But that doesn't make the reason any easier to handle and cope with. The hardest part is going to be emotionally supporting the kids while trying to be strong for myself as well. The only thing that helps is that I've known this would come sooner or later, that I just would refuse to put up with any more - but it still isn't making it any easier to end something I've tried so hard to make work for so long(20 years). Now I flip back to the other side and realize that it is better to do it now than to waste more of my life (and my children's) in an unhealthy relationship.
I wish I could stop playing "good cop/bad cop" with my self, but maybe it's someone else's way of helping to better understand and make the right decisions (see, there I go again).
Anyway, I am still very determined to be good to myself and stay with Atkins, I may slip a bit here any there, but I know I won't go off the deep end and binge. So please bear with me and don't be afraid to tell me to put a lid on it (sometimes I need kick more than a hug - but a follow-up hug would be nice!).
Thanks for listening.