Taoism

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2004
Taoism
20
Fri, 05-14-2004 - 3:19pm
O.K. This one is kind of directed at you TaoistNovice.

What is Taoism??? Define it if you will. I have heard the term used several times, and they all used it to describe different things. I do not recall most of them, but I would like to hear how you define it. If you don't mind sharing this info that is. I am just curious as I have studied many religions, and since taoism ends in ism, I would only assume it is some form of belief system. Thanks for any info you are willing to share. I am greatly intregued.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2003
In reply to: jeephead
Fri, 05-14-2004 - 11:45pm
It's really late and DF and I just got home from a night out hustle dancing . We just had a quick cuddle (our code for kissing and caressing and digital on her) because we were too tired for anything else. We're going to a water park tomorrow, but I'll try to get back to you sometime. It might be Sunday, though, as we're going to another dance tomorrow night.

taoist
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
In reply to: jeephead
Sat, 05-15-2004 - 8:33am
just a quick question tao...don't you get aroused when you touch your DF?...and so aren't you left with an erection if you only kiss, carress, and finger her?...i understand it sounds great to hear of couples who occasionally "take turns" and help their SO orgasm and not expect one for themselves...but in real life i don't think i can recall one time where a lover of mine didn't get soo turned on by playing with me that he didn't want to orgasm too...what happens on the nites where either you or her give pleasure but don't receive?...do you roll over to sleep with an erection?...does she doze off letting the ache to orgasm subside?...i'm just curious as i've never had sex where one partner is left without orgasm.

ps i too love water ride parks! enjoy your day!

honey

    

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2003
In reply to: jeephead
Sat, 05-15-2004 - 9:29am
I get an erection almost every time I touch her, and I certainly can't orgasm every time!It takes me a long time to orgasm, while she orgasms very quickly and easily, so we often just satisfy her. Since I enjoy sharing her orgasmic energy and pleasure this is very satisfying for me. For example, last night we did digital and what "free" calls "outercourse" (stimulating the clitoris directly with the penis) for about ten minutes and three orgasms for her. Then she went to sleep and I spent a few minutes on the boards before following her. This morning, however, we got up and walked the doggies (30 min - 2 miles) and after watering all our new plants, she came to bed. We had a wonderful session with digital, outercourse, her on top leaning forward, her on top leaning back, then sitting up with her on my lap, then me on top. She had somewhere around 15 orgasms from all of this and I was able to have three with me on top (the only position where I orgasm easily) . I've been having trouble having more than one lately so this was a fantastic session for me.

Since I practice ejaculation control and orgasm without ejaculating, I'm often left with an erection when we "finish" , but it eventually subsides. Ejaculation is really not necessary for a man, and the Taoists believe that ejaculating too often is not good for a man's health. That's why they teach how to separate ejaculation from orgasm so men can make love frequently and be multi-orgasmic ,too.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2004
In reply to: jeephead
Sat, 05-15-2004 - 9:48am

Often times my husband will pleasure me and not want anything for himself.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2004
In reply to: jeephead
Sat, 05-15-2004 - 9:58am

Sounds like you had a fantastic morning Taoist, dog walking included.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-24-2003
In reply to: jeephead
Sat, 05-15-2004 - 11:15am
Follow up question...

I too am interested in Taoism. I've never "met" one and have only read books. I realize there's more than the sexual aspect, but I'd like to ask something in that direction as well.

Now one concept you've mentioned is the separation of ejaculation and orgasm. If that's true, one can have one without the other. Same is true, I would assume, for the refractory period. All three are and should be separate processes.

On to my question: Is there a "way" to ejaculate without losing the erection?

Thanks in advance, mutt.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2003
In reply to: jeephead
Sat, 05-15-2004 - 6:04pm
Since this is a sex board, I'll keep the non-sexual part as brief as possible.

Taoism is a religious and/or philosophical system from China with an ancient history. If you've ever heard of Lao Tsu or Chuang Tzu, that is part of the philosophical aspect of Taoism. The religious aspect consists mainly of temples, priests, observances which are part of Chinese folk religion. The symbol of Taoism which most westerners are familiar with is the Yin/Yang sysmbol, with the Yin being the "female" principle and Yang being the "male" principle. This is a complimentary duality that is seen in all of nature. Things like Tai Chi and acupuncture are all part of the broad sweep of Taoism.

I have know about Taoism in general for more than 30 years and I spent a year in Taiwan and 2 years in China in the 1980s. I never knew anything about the sexual aspects until about a year ago. My DF had a book about acupressure for lovers and this had a small section about Taoism and sexuality. This led me to finding and reading "The Tao of Sex and Love" by Jo-Lan Chang and then to "The Multi-Orgasmic Couple" and "The Multi-Orgasmic Man" by Mantak Chia and Douglas Abrams. Really all I know comes from these books and personal experience. There are "Universal Tao" instructors and a web-site, but they seem to focus more on the health and meditational aspects rather than the specifically sexual ones, so I have never tried to contact one.

The basic Taoist message with regard to sexuality is that sexual satisfaction, and particularly female satisfaction, is important to the balance of Yin and Yang in the human spirit. They also believe the sexual pleasure between loving couples can be a form of spiritual meditation which also has physical benefits. Taoists believe that both male and female benefit from loving sexual activity and orgasm. Females can have multiple orgasms without loss of energy, but if males ejaculate too often this is not good for their health. Taoists teach techniques that enable males to control ejaculation and orgasm without ejaculating. Sometimes the instructions get really complicated and get caught up in talking about circulating energy, but the basic techniques are not that complex. A man can use contractions of his PC muscles and deep breathing techniques and stop his actual ejaculation after experiencing about 95% of the sensations of an orgasm with ejaculation. It takes time, it isn't easy, and it doesn't always work for me, though they say those who are really good at it can do it easily and reliably. When I do it, I lose some of my erection very briefly, but then(usually) can continue and have more orgasms. I've been able to have as many as six at maybe 1-2 minute intervals, but lately having three or even two is a challenge. This morning I had three, partly because I didn't allow the first two to go quite as far. I am 52 and I have always been quite slow to orgasm, so I don't know how well this works with younger and quicker guys. The books say it is easier for older men. Since I only ejaculate about once a week, our sessions end when either my DF or I want to stop (she has a bad hip which starts to hurt after a while) or I feel I'm not going to be able to orgasm again. Since she is very easily multi-orgasmic, she has many more than I do, and sometimes we are just limited by time or interest level.

That's very very general synopsis that I hope was useful for you.

taoist.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2003
In reply to: jeephead
Sat, 05-15-2004 - 6:07pm
To specifically answer your question, muttley, I think that if you ejaculate, you lose the erection. What Taoists do is to orgasm without ejaculating, so the erection is not lost and there is no refractory period.

taoist
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-24-2003
In reply to: jeephead
Sat, 05-15-2004 - 9:55pm
Thanks, taoist, I appreciate the answer. I still can't wrap my mind around the whole orgasming without any bodily fluids. I understand the concept though.

Thanks again,

Mutt

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2003
In reply to: jeephead
Sun, 05-16-2004 - 5:55pm
You can do it. Imagine your body as a battery with a certain charge. When you ejaculate, your battery is discharged and it takes time to build back up again. If you control your ejaculation and orgasm without ejaculating , not only can you have multiple orgasms during one session, you can be capable of making love again in a few hours. With me, when I do ejaculate (about once a week), I can get an erection and have intercourse a few hours later, but it takes about 24-36 hours before I can orgasm again and then it's usually only once because my "battery" is still not fully charged. After about three days, however, I can often have 2 or 3 orgasms ( although this is not real reliable) in a session. After about 7-8 days, the control gets harder and I go ahead and ejaculate. When I do it is incredibly exquisite. If I ejaculate after only 2-3 days, however, it's really no better than orgasming without and I always regret it.

taoist.

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