i really need some advice
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i really need some advice
| Fri, 05-14-2004 - 3:42pm |
i have been seeing this guy for three weeks now and i really like him. we had sex early on even though i knew we sjould have waited. i really enjoy hanging out with him and would like to be his gf. when we hang out its cool i just wish he would ask me out on a real date. our dates basically consist of going to the mountains and talking and hooking up. i basically told him that i was liking him and wanted more than a friends with benefits relationship. he says he is not ready for a relationship. so i basically said that we should just stop having sex and he agreed. i kinda want to continue having sex with him cuz i know that if he is getting it from me he wont look elswhere and besides the sex is great. the problem is that i want something of a real relationship with him. he tells me he cares about me but then i always have to call. he tells me to call him everytime we hang out. i wish he would call me more instead of having me call him all the time. please any advise would be appreciated cuz i know that i am in a mess.
thanks
thanks
mo

I mean, look at his behavior. You said that he isn't taking you out in public, even as a friend....he's taking you to the mountains, where no one can see you together, just for sex. Does that sound like a friendship to you?
And don't kid yourself, there is no guarentee that he isn't doing the same with other girls! None at all! Sex has never and will never keep a person in your life, much less turn into more than that.
You two don't want the same things from this relationship, so spare yourself some pain and heartache and move on and find a guy who does want more.
Edited 5/14/2004 4:49 pm ET ET by katmandoo2001
It's very sad, but what you want is NOT what he will give you, and he told you so. How immature are you to think that if you give him sex, he won't have sex with anyone else? He's probably in those mountains a lot more than with you.
Let this be a lesson for you. The "dates" and the discussion of relationships should come BEFORE the sex...not after. You have established with him that you have no rules, you just have sex with whoever wants it. A man doesn't want a relationship with a woman just because he has sex with her....and he told you he doesn't WANT a relationship with you.
He doesn't call you....lucky you, now you stop calling HIM, and get out and get a life. Save your body for someone who CARES for you.
thanks
mo
It may be possible to be friends IF you move on and date someone else but at this point, I think you're going to continue to hope for more! Move on.
thanks
It's gone past the "Perhaps we can be just friends" thing the moment that you had sex with him. He doesn't want a g/f and he agreed to not have sex anymore because he is keeping you happy by agreeing with you. He knows that if he keeps you happy and keeps you around him you'll probably give in and still have sex with him.
If he wanted a proper relationship with you he would have told you by now. You've made it clear that you want more and all he does is nod and smile and say "Yes, yes". He doesn't want a relationship, he wants sex.
I think you can see that he doesn't want the complication of a "friend" who wants more from him in his life, especially, since he's already told you all that from the beginning. Because you had sex so quickly, he must have assumed that's all you wanted from him too.
So, no, IMO, I don't think you're going to be able to keep him as a friend now. Move on and stop wasting time on this guy.
Edited 5/16/2004 8:31 pm ET ET by mo2032