duration of intercourse

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2003
duration of intercourse
59
Sat, 05-15-2004 - 12:28am

I often read threads about men who orgasm too quickly during intercourse.

CL-Yasmin1967

May I have the serenity to accept what I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2001
Sat, 05-15-2004 - 1:34am
I think that you're right about 3-5 minutes being normal. If left to ourselves we'd happy orgasm well within that timeframe. I suspect that's probably half the attraction of masturbation. We get the orgasm within a few minutes. I know that some would disagree but I think that a quick orgasm is like being able to skip the dinner preparation and main course and move straight on to dessert. Orgasm is aim for most men. Who cares how long it takes to get there? The build up is nice but the orgasm is nicer. Forget the build-up and give me the orgasm is probably the opinion of a lot of men.

Throw a woman and intercourse into the mix and general opinion is that the longer we last the better. Practically the woman usually takes much longer too, needing a longer warmup period.

In your case, you orgasm quickly so that 'allows' your husband to orgasm fast too. I bet that if it took you 20 minutes of intercourse to orgasm your husband would be taking longer too.

My partner and I are a bit different. She can orgasm within a couple of minutes of intercourse but it's me that takes longer (depending on frequency and mood of course). I usually last 10 minutes or so and luckily by them she's had a couple of orgasms and isn't bored with the whole thing :-)

I think it's more about satisfaction for both partners. If both are happy with short duration intercourse then what's the problem? It's not premature ejeculation if the orgasms and sex are over done with even if it all only lasted 3 minutes.

Premature ejeculation should be measured on partner satisfaction scale rather than a time scale.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Sat, 05-15-2004 - 7:46am
hi yasmin...it could be your husband is aware you will likely "get bored" with more than 5 minutes of intercourse and so he thus feels more inclined to speed up the act so as not to bother you?...my husband usually couldn't last very long during intercourse and it would many times leave me frustrated and wishing he could stall his orgasm...my current SO lasts a wonderfully long time (i've never watched the clock but i imagine average of 20 minutes) and i wonder if partly he takes longer because he realizes i am very pleased by long intercourse sessions and he is actively wanting to please me and last...i had another lover before this one who also lasted a much longer time than my husband and again i got the feeling he was stalling his orgasm on purpose to let intercourse linger.. my other lovers were pre-marriage which is going back a couple of decades so i will not include them in my sampling, but for *me* 2 of my 3 recent lovers were able to last long times and i imagine they learned techniques to aid this.

so my point is some men may learn to stall orgasm during intercourse if they realize their partner wants long sessions....my husband truly could never learn to prolong intercourse and so i realize not all men can do this.

honey

    

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2004
Sat, 05-15-2004 - 9:11am

That's about the length of time my husband will last during intercourse and I don't consider it too soon as long

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-24-2003
Sat, 05-15-2004 - 11:08am
Sadly, 3-5 minutes is "average" for me if I don't masturbate that day. My wife doesn't mind, of course, if and when I do masturbate, but often when I do, I don't ejaculate as much afterwards (when we have sex within a 24 hour period).

I'm not sure if other women share her "fondness" for their partner's semen, but she has often expressed her desire to have as much semen I can muster end up inside her. (Can someone explain this?)

Anyway, I digress. I've often told my wife I dislike quickies and whether I like it or not, I can't last as long as I want if I hadn't gotten off previously that day. In comes something we like to call, "the bunny".

The bunny is when she and I get busy and I go ahead and climax whenever my body wants to. (In other words we do it like bunnies). Being 39, my refractory period is much longer than when I was 20 (back then I had no refractory period...sigh). Anyway, we either stay busy after I climax or get on with the rest of the day with the notion that she will be tucking me in again.

This is when it's fun for me. We call this the perma-hard phase, depending on how much time's elapsed since my climax. If it's within 1-3 hours, I can last indefinitely. It's kinda scary sometimes, in a good way, because try as I might, I will not be able to orgasm. We basically keep going and going until she says stop. Her record is about 10 or so orgasms in the perma-hard phase. Typically she gets off about three or four times.

The only thing I'd want to change is my refractory period.

Muttley

P.S. Just so I don't come across as an uber-sex god, I will admit that if I rush things after my first one, I end up totally frustrated because it never gets hard again, and if it does, is pitifully weak and temperamental.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2004
Sat, 05-15-2004 - 12:54pm

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2003
Sat, 05-15-2004 - 1:17pm

Hello yasmin!


I agree with your post!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sat, 05-15-2004 - 1:45pm
Well, 3-5 minutes is normal here for sex. Atleast lately, since we have a young baby. As the kids have gotten older, our sessions have gotten longer. As far as oral, I think DH takes a little longer, about 10 to 15 minutes, but that is partly because he likes to have it last longer than a quickie. He wants a little time to enjoy the visual before getting off. DH can last longer, but the longer we take around here the more we risk not being able to finish before a child wakes up or wants to interrupt. The 5 year old knows not to bother us, and gives us our privacy, but I have an 8 month old and a 2 year old who haven't grasped the concept of waiting ;o)

Leticia

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2003
Sat, 05-15-2004 - 5:57pm
I feel about this the same way I feel about the statistics regarding women with low libidos. How can something that is the average hence the norm be considered abnormal? Of course any average includes the extremes. Men who take a long time to orgasm are a part of that average as well as the men who orgasm even faster than 3 to 5 minutes. I'm finding as my husband gets older, it takes him longer to orgasm. When we first married, he would generally orgasm in that three to five minute time frame. Now it is more like 10 minutes and sometimes 15 minutes. Of course how vigorously we are having intercourse makes a difference in how quickly he orgasms. For instance taking little breaks or slowing down the pace will extend the time it takes him to orgasm. And the amount of time we have spent in foreplay also effects how quickly he orgasms. But overall he orgasms in generally about a 10 minute timeframe. I haven't ever had intercourse for more than 15 minutes so I don't know how I would feel about it. I'm satisfied with the amount of time my husband lasts during intercourse and always have been satisfied with it.

Robin

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2003
Sat, 05-15-2004 - 6:01pm
No Honey, you missed my point.

CL-Yasmin1967

May I have the serenity to accept what I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-11-2004
Sun, 05-16-2004 - 10:08am
1-3 to 5 minutes for male orgasm sounds "normal." Reading the boards, I get the feeling guys want to last longer to "satisfy" the woman thru sexual intercourse.

2-My wife takes 20-30 minutes to get "warmed up." For that reason, I give her oral sex and clitoial stimulation. BEFORE having sexual intercoure, I insure my wife is satisfied. I can last 30 seconds to 5 minutes until ejaculation.

Have a good sexual day, mac

 

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