Boyfriend Loses Erection During Sex!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2004
Boyfriend Loses Erection During Sex!
15
Sat, 05-15-2004 - 5:04pm
My boyfriend of 2 1/2 Years has never had a problem with keeping an erection until this last month and a half.

Already, Five times he has lost his erection. Could it be that I don't turn him on anymore?

Please Give Advice.

Thanks!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2004
Sat, 05-15-2004 - 9:38pm
If this is a recent thing and he never had a problem with it before, maybe he should have a check up and make sure there is nothing physically wrong.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2004
Sat, 05-15-2004 - 10:08pm
Tish, Thanks for your response! He isn't masturbating any more than usual.

After he loses his erection, he just says he is sorry. And I get depressed because I feel like it is my fault and I give him the silent treatment.

We don't really talk about what happened and why. I really think that it is because he is tired of having sex with me.

Thanks!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2004
Sat, 05-15-2004 - 10:29pm

First of all, don't give him the silent treatment.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 05-16-2004 - 12:45am
All men, of any age will occasionally lose their erection. It has NOTHING to do with his feelings for you, and he's not tired of having sex with you. If he was, he wouldn't BE there!

However, if you're sulking about it, and making him feel WORSE about it, you're contributing to his problem. It's called "performance anxiety"......it happens once, and then he worries that it will happen again.....and the worry causes it to happen again. On top of that, you're accusing him of something that's not true, and that makes it worse than ever.

Do you have an orgasm EVERY time you have sex with him? I doubt that. Men are no different than women. Sometimes it just doesn't work. Give the guy a break, and be understanding. Until he gets over it, there are other things he can do to give you pleasure...and you can do the same for him, erection or not.

If it continues, then he should see an Urologist, because he could be having a physical problem of some kind.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-11-2004
Sun, 05-16-2004 - 9:20am
Things that will cause a man to LOSE an erection:

1-STRESSING over something (work, school, etc.).

2-Fear of getting the female partner PREGNANT.

3-A physical problem; a urologist would be able to diagnose.

Ask yourself and your guy what has happened in the last 6 weeks...?

Also, does he lose the erection while masturbating?

Please keep us informed. Good luck, mac

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2004
Sun, 05-16-2004 - 5:57pm
Thanks for the Responses!

I'm afraid to ask him what the problem is. I feel it will make a even bigger deal out of this situation. And he obviously doesn't want to talk about it, or he would have said something to make me feel better.

I am 23 years old, and he is 44 years old.

Not to be conceited, but I have a hot hourglass figure. So the only reason I can think of him not being able to keep an erection is just pure boredom.

When he masturbates, he has NO PROBLEM AT ALL keeping an erection.

I just can't stop thinking that he is getting bored of having sex with me that is causing him to lose his erection.

THANKS!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2003
Sun, 05-16-2004 - 6:03pm

Don't make the mistake of thinking that your "hot, hourglass figure" has anything to do with his erection.

CL-Yasmin1967

May I have the serenity to accept what I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2004
Sun, 05-16-2004 - 7:19pm

I'm afraid to ask him what the problem is. I feel it will make a even bigger deal out of this situation. And he obviously doesn't want to talk about it, or he would have said something to make me feel better. First of all, in a relationship if there is any kind of problem, it has to be talked about.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2003
Sun, 05-16-2004 - 8:47pm
my guy was having the same problem and it turned out to be the condoms. he also said that when he felt that i was enjoying it, it made it easier for him to keep an erection. do u use condoms with him that could be it? also make sure he knows how much you enjoy having sex with him cuz thats a big turn on for guys.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2004
Mon, 05-17-2004 - 5:00pm
Tish, Thank You for the helpful information.

Well, last night my boyfriend brought up his "erection situation". He said that he has just been over worked and lack of sleep.

I feel so badly that I treated him awful. I believe that it is going to take some time for us to rebuild our sexual relationship because I was mean to him for not being able to keep an erection.

Now, I am really afraid to have sex with him because I don't want this to happen again! I'm sure he is REALLY going to have ANXIETY about his performance because I was so mean to him.

THANKS!

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