new to sex

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2004
new to sex
5
Mon, 05-17-2004 - 12:50am
hello i must first say that this is an incredible site, its got loads of information and really does help people

keep up the good work pples!

rite, i'm 20 and am new to the whole lovemaking thing. i love me guy and love bedding up with him but like the many other people here im unable to reach the big o. i was wondering if this is just due to the fact that i'm still quite inexperienced at it all, and if these things just come with time? i was told by a good freind that it gets better with time but hmmm. could it also be a mental thing? how many people out there are prone to self sabotaging their own plesure?

neways

preciate any answers i get

thanx

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 05-17-2004 - 12:59am
Yes, it takes time, and it takes experience. It also means learning about your own body, and what does it for you. If you've read much, I'm sure you've seen that women don't often have orgasms from intercourse alone, because your vagina has very little feeling. Your true sexual organ, aside from your brain, is your clitoris, and that's where the orgasms will come from. Clitoral stimulation, alone, or during intercourse are how you have orgasms.

But, in the meantime, orgasms are NOT necessary to enjoy sex, they're the reward for learning HOW to enjoy sex. Orgasms don't make sex good, good sex makes orgasms happen.

Some women NEVER learn how to have them, but they still enjoy sex!

And yes, you will sabotage yourself if all you do is worry about it. It will happen when you learn how to have them, and allow them to happen.

Check out www.the-clitoris.com to learn more about your body.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2004
Mon, 05-17-2004 - 2:26am
yes thanx

i have alredy checked out the site. just needed some reasurance about the whole saga.

thanx



iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2004
Fri, 05-21-2004 - 10:44am
hi shifftylooks

Well its soo weird because i'm also 20 years old and new to these forums....I am in the situation u are in....i can definitely identify I've been going crazy getting as much info as possible...cuz i love my boyfriend and love having sex with him but i really want to finally have an orgasm when we have sex...i guess it could be that I dont have much experience but you can definitely identufy with me when i say that I want this to all go away and start enjoying the sex to the fullest...well if u get any more tips or find out what works..please leave messages here or email me at anjoev@verizon.net.....hope everything works out...thanxs
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2004
Fri, 05-21-2004 - 2:15pm
Both of you I think from a mans point of view of course, need to learn as much about your bodies, and stop worrying so much. Relax, and enjoy, and for god sake, tell you guys to take more time pleasing you. Find out what you like that they do, what feels good, feels nice, and let them know, and let them take you to the highest peak you are capable of making it to. You are in charge of your orgasm, but they also have the responsibility to learn as much as they can about how to please you, not just get themselves off. Relax, don't worry. There is no pressure, just pleasure, and the more you realize this, and the more your guys pay attention to your wants, needs, and feelings, the sooner you will have an orgasm. It does take time, sometimes, but it can happen over night too, if you listen to your body, and go with the flow!!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-20-2003
Tue, 05-25-2004 - 8:56pm
I am 29 and newly married. Alot of women can have orgasms during regular sex. That's not me. I have only been able to have O's while receiving oral and the first time for that was when I was 22. And trust me....that is very enjoyable. That might be a good place to start for you.

Every girl is different. I hope you eventually can have an O during regular sex (me too!) but for now try oral, it might just get you started.