No more O's

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2004
No more O's
5
Tue, 05-18-2004 - 4:22pm


I certainly hope someone can answer my question. I’m 40-year-old woman who is in a loving long-term relationship. My problem is that I have 0 to no sexual response, what I mean is that I can’t get aroused therefore I do not have orgasm, the strange part is that I do produce that wetness but I do not feel anything. I have been “pretending” only because I feel it would be more damaging to him than to me. I ‘m the type of person that likes to look for way to solve problems. I’m taking Wellbeutrin 300mg XL and Effexor 150mg once a day.

I have spoken to my doctor and he says it’s OK that not all women have orgasm, but I DID and enjoyed them very much, I looked forward to having sex and miss that, today I have it because I think that maybe next time I may feel something but I do not.

My doctor gave me Levlen to “make it better” I actually do not need birth control because I had my tubes tied. I also have only one ovary.

My question is: are there ANY products out there herbal or otherwise that can at least make my genitals sensitive in order to feel something??

I was told about Yohimbe but I also read that it’s like a MOA and I’m afraid to try it because of the antidepressants I’m taking.

I want to know if there are any creams oils or something that can help temporarily, I feel that maybe if I get some sensitivity, it may bring my orgasm…HELP PLEASE

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2004
Tue, 05-18-2004 - 4:28pm
>>I have spoken to my doctor and he says it’s OK that not all women have orgasm<<

Find a new DR! That was *terrible* for him to say that to you. Those pills to enhance libido are worthless. What you should really think about doing is get a new DR and have them do a work up on you. Check your hormone levels and such to rule out anything like that. They can also see if it's your meds causing the problem. I don't want to probe to personally so tell me it's none of my business if you want to, but is it a possibility something in your relationship has changed to cause you to have less desire for your DH?

Leticia

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2004
Wed, 05-19-2004 - 5:23pm
I think you answered part of your question... the drugs you are taking for depression are known for possibly affecting the libido in a negative way ( a "side effect"). Maybe you could try some different anti-depressants since everybody reacts differently to various drugs.

I do agree that you need to find another doctor. Any DR that tells you to basically "live with it" is not taking enough interest in your well being.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-18-2003
Wed, 05-19-2004 - 10:57pm
Please understand I am a nurse not a doctor, but I may be able to give you a little insight into your doctor's line of thought. Some women begin to go through menopause around 40 years old. One of the things that happens is the reduction of hormones. Your physician may be thinking that increasing your level of estrogen may improve your response. Obviously, this has not worked, but he may be on the right track. Another hormone level that is reduced during the initial stages of menopause is testosterone. Some women have really good results with a little testosterone or an herbal substitute supplement. This may or may not be the case, but it might be worth looking into. Another suggestion might be looking into the woman's version of viagra..I think its called vigel, but I'm not sure. There is an herbal form of viagra that has been used by the chinese for centuries called "Yohimbe Root". The problem with this sort of drug including viagra is that they can raise your blood pressure, so check with your doctor before trying..I hope this helps....
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2004
Wed, 05-26-2004 - 10:10am
>>I was told about Yohimbe but I also read that it’s like a MOA and I’m afraid to try it because of the antidepressants I’m taking.

I want to know if there are any creams oils or something that can help temporarily<<

You may wish to ask your doctor about switching to a different antidepressant with fewer sexual side-effects. I agree with the other poster - sex itself can be a powerful antidepressant and your physician should be 100% behind you in restoring your enjoyment of sex. If not, change physician.

Also, you might want to ask him or her about switching to St Johns Wort (depending on the severity and history of your depression).

Double-blind controlled studies have shown that St John's Wort is as effective as MAO inhibitors in patients with mild to moderate depression. It is used to treat (I believe) around 40 % of depressed patients in Germany. It is generally reported to have fewer side effects.

(You must check with a doctor first before starting, changing or stopping any medication).

Good luck

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
Wed, 05-26-2004 - 3:21pm
Ok I don't want you to take this the wrong way. It is only a suggestion that worked for me. I have been on depo for BC for 6 years. Loss of sex drive is a side effect of the shot. I had the sex drive of a slug. I got some ky warming gel and it worked wonders. I also started reading sex stories online and watching a little soft porn. NOT something that i was ever into, but it helped my sex drive.

Get a new doctor who is concerned about the lack of sex drive. It can tear a realtionship down! trust me. i'm currently working on fixing mine.

Look on the internet for excite creams. type in lack of sex drive.

good luck.

jaime