need more help

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2004
need more help
3
Wed, 05-19-2004 - 3:07pm
hi and thanks to everyone who wrote back to me.

i have a new problem, see my boyfriend likes to role play and he always catches me when i am not in the mood to do anything and the role that he wants me to play always changes. and i just dont know how to react when he does it. do to the fact i am not in the mood. if anyone can understand what i am trying to say and can help me please write back as soon as you read this. thanks
Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 05-19-2004 - 5:20pm
Kristy, all you can do is be honest...if you're not in the mood, you're not in the mood. But if you think there's a possibility that you could GET in the mood, then try giving it the good old college try with the understanding that you may still decline. However, I do strongly suggest that you guys sit down and talk about when and why it's okay to decline an offer for sex. No one should feel that they're at the beck and call of their partner for sex since it can lead to resentment. Talk to him.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2004
Wed, 05-19-2004 - 5:37pm
I think I answered your post on another board, kristy. Part of role playing is setting it up, talking about, fantasizing together about it. You cannot role play without talking it over and planning ahead a little bit. In my other post, I explained how my hubby will explain in detail the morning of or before what he wants us/me to do. And he will talk about it over and over and ask me "does that sound nice to you baby?" Things like that - he's got to get you there, so to speak! Tell him you need to hear what he wants and ahead of time, not just come home and catch you off guard. Once you've gotten into the playing like this - after a few months, sometimes my hubby will come up behind me and whisper something to me and boom - I know what he is looking for. Without practicing and really talking in detail about scenarios, you will be at a loss.

I know about not being in the mood. It's up to him to get you in the mood. Sometimes it takes a lot of time and patience, but eventually, I know my hubby can make me in the mood. How long have you been together? My hubby and I have been together 2 years, but married six months so we are still newlyweds. If he can't get you in the mood, then he can't! I wouldn't worry much.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2004
Thu, 05-20-2004 - 11:26am
How about you surprise him sometime with your own littel roll play. Turn the tables on him. See how he reacts to it. See if he doesn't go for it, or if he does. His reaction will tell you a lot about how he wants you to be when he does it.