Boyfriend Problems
Find a Conversation
| Wed, 05-19-2004 - 8:25pm |
When I first started going out with my boyfriend, he wanted to touch me and
be near me all the time, including lots of s.e.x. Over the last couple of
weeks, he doesn't seem to want it as much anymore, and I want it more than
ever. No matter how much I masterbate or have sex with him, it doesn't seem
to be enough. I feel bad because I feel like I'm pressuring him into having
s.e.x with me. Why am I so horny all of a sudden? I was never like this
with past boyfriends, then again, none of those relationships last any
longer than a couple weeks, maybe a month or two.
A few nights ago, we were being intimate and I asked him to go down on me,
and he said no because he would have to have a shower afterwards and didn't
want to. I was pissed, I mean, I don't ask for it that often, he's gets it
more than I do. I felt really insulted and hurt that when we're being
intimate that he could just say no to something I asked for.
We've been together for months and last night he told me that I don't know
him yet, and that I give my heart away too easy. I never told him I loved
him, I'm not even sure if I do, though he's told me he loves me. We're both
in a bit of a career change right now, and to save money, we're moving in
together as well as with another friend, we're each going to have our own room,
but he says we're moving too fast. I never asked for anything, nothing at
all, and he makes it seem like it's my fault.
He told me I met him at a really bad time and that we should just take it
day by day. I'm so confused, what's going on. Can someone help me?!
Mariah

It SOUNDS like this guy is having some serious second thoughts about you and the relationship that may have been brought on by the new living arrangements. I personally don't think it's normal for sex to become less desirable to a man after only a few months, UNLESS he's having some second thoughts.
"You don't know me yet, you give your heart away too easily, we should take it day by day" ALL spell FEAR of commitment to me. OR at the least, real trepidation about the relationship.
Maybe he's feeling smothered, pressured or unsure of his feelings for you but in any case, don't move in with this guy and sign a lease together! Do you really want to be tied to him if this doesn't work out? And frankly, my dear, it ain't looking good.
You guys need to have a serious heart to heart and define just what your relationship is.
Edited 5/20/2004 1:15 am ET ET by katmandoo2001
Your guy is making serious fear-of-relationship noises. Either he's not as in love with you as you think that he is, or he's getting scared off because you're planning on living together and he's afraid of that commitment. Saying things like "You don't know me yet" is just one short step away from "Sorry, I love you but I'm not IN love with you - our relationship is over". Your relationship is definitely on shakey ground with this guy.
You haven't asked for anything but I think that it's about time that you did. As kat said, I'd want to know what he thinks and the state of the relationship before I moved in and co-signed a lease. As it is, I wouldn't move in together yet.
Maybe the cost saving exercise of living together is not the good idea that it seems. Maybe you should consider moving into another established flat by yourself and see how the relationship goes.
And what's with the shower after oral sex thing? That's weird.
It sounds to me he doesn't want anything serious, he just wants a friend/sex toy. No commitment, no responsibilities.
You'll see (as you are seeing now) that he isn't worth it...
When someone loves you, really loves you, he will love to do EVERYTHING on you, and get satisfaction from it.
You'll find that someone one day, not that loser...
Hugs and kisses for you