sex with a younger man

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2003
sex with a younger man
38
Thu, 05-20-2004 - 3:43am
I am 48 and recently single. One month ago I started dating a much younger man (28) and have never had so much enjoyable sex. During my marriage the sex was OK, but with this guy we have sex two and three times a day. Although he is exhausting, I must admit I look forward to each and every minute. The sex not only lasts for long periods of time, but because his penis is much larger than my x-hubby, I find myself having mutliple orgasms in positions I never even enjoyed before. I sometimes feel a bit guilty about his age, but within a few short minutes in the sack and I forget about all that! Has anyone else had a similar experience.

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Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 05-20-2004 - 11:25am
No, not personally BUT I really think your new found enjoyment of sex has more to do with YOU than this guy's age or penis size! Think about it. You are more sexually aware and mature now than you likely were when you married your EX. You probably don't hesitate to ask for what you want in bed either or aren't overly focused on HIS experience. You've learned to enjoy your own body and know what you like.

Don't give him all the credit for your pleasure. Revel in it and give credit where credit is due. You've come into your own.

Have fun!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2004
Thu, 05-20-2004 - 12:43pm
I am 29, and my SO is 40. She is awesome. And when we first got together I blew her mind, just like you are talking about here. We have a lot of fun together, and it is even better that our relationship is going along well and we now have two children together. The age difference bugs her every once in a while, but we are happy together, and I completely adore her. We have had some pretty big problems in our time together, including my anger issues, but affter getting treatment, and figuring out how to handle my anger better, on both our parts, we are doing well, and lately better than usual. We have actually started talking again, really talking. Communication. That is the key, right?? Well, sex with her has been awesome, and she is strating to open up to new things, and new experiences.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Thu, 05-20-2004 - 1:56pm
hi shy....i'm a few years younger than you and also recently single again...i found it was mostly younger men who asked me out on dates, maybe the younguns are more bold i thought?...for some reason i was never tempted, i just don't find men in their 20's attractive...seems i go gaagaa for men my age or a few years younger LOL...anyway i loved Kats response to you!...i agree, give credit where credit it due, i doubt its much to do with this young man being a wonderful lover and more to do that YOU are a wonderful lover!!...i have been happily dating for over a year a man who is a couple years younger than me and ooooooooo he and i make marvelous music together :)...and he too is ooo soo beautifully well endowed that i swoon just at the site of him naked!...but i have a feeling its *me* and my skills and my sensuality that is what makes our sparks fly soo hot...

enjoy!

honey

    

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2004
Thu, 05-20-2004 - 3:20pm
I may agree with both you honey, and Kat on this one to a degree, but you cannot discount todays younger males. We have been more eager to learn as a whole, on average, than twney years ago males were. I think generation has a lot to do with it also. Most of my male friends are very knowledgable about women, and how to please them, just as I am, and my SO has sworn(wether I believe her or not is irrelevant here) that she has never had anyone better. Yes, she is older, more comfortable with herself, and all that, but I think talent is getting better in the younger generations of males. More experience while younger, etc. etc. It was not that long ago that women were still shuned for showing there sexual sides, and men didn't really need to learn anything. Then the revolution happened, and the feminist side started coming to a head. Now we are at a point where women control sex much more than men, and the younger males are starting to learn more, while we are younger, just so that we can keep up. LOL Now this may be taking things to deeply here, But I do feel that the guy has a lot to do with how great the sex is to her. Otherwise more women out there would stick to dildo's rather than having sex. It only makes sense to me. But this is only my younger male opinion.
Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 05-20-2004 - 3:47pm
I think the last few generations of males are more knowledgeable about female sexuality and pleasure than any previous, because the information is out there now. They're seeing and hearing about it more (and women EXPECT more. LOL!) "More skilled" though....not necessarily, that would be a matter of opinion. You still have to be interested in applying what you learn! LOL!

However, my experience has been that women become much less focused on their partner's pleasure as they age and more on their own. I've been with the same man for 28 years and I enjoy sex much more now than I ever did in my 20's. Not necessarily because HE learned all that much more about my body and sexuality but because I began to ask for what pleases ME! I took control of my own pleasure.

I think women become more like men in their desire and men become more like women in that they are less orgasm-focused as they age. My grandmother confirmed this and so did my mother and her sisters and none of them were married to younger men.

It has less to do with the age of the lover or spouse and more to do than with self awareness. You can be with the most proficient lover in the world and still not be happy IF you can't accept pleasure and ask for what you want.

Yes, definitely, knowledge is part of the equation but so is self acceptance and a sense of entitlement to pleasure. And for the record, women have ALWAYS been in control of sex...when and IF it takes place has always been the woman's call.










Edited 5/21/2004 12:02 pm ET ET by katmandoo2001

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 05-20-2004 - 4:21pm
I hope this question isn't too ridiculous, but...

...is it possible that she's enjoying 'herself' more with this particular guy because he is, by any chance, displaying that he "wants" her...compared to her ex which she may not have felt that way before? Shy, is that a possibility?

Not just his physical features and her psyche of 'coming into her own' and all, but also "the way he himself" shows her his interest by the way he handles her or grabs her or does things or even that gaze itself.

I'm just curious, cause I've read posts that actually claim that on other message boards, so I'm just wonderin.

:)

 

C  H  A  R  A  C  T  E  R

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Thu, 05-20-2004 - 4:56pm
i'm not as old as the hills jeep LOL....i grew up during the height of the sexual revolution, i was a young woman pre-AIDS when "free love" was all the rage and sexual experimentation was common...i've had my share of men in their 20's and i don't deny they can be somewhat skilled sexually...but nah uh, young men just don't have the fine tuning a more mature, experienced man has...and as for men today starting younger...ugh!...i doubt cause a guy starts humping females in his early teens that he's gonna make a more skilled lover for me LOL...besides which, trust me jeep, teens of my generation were bumping and grinding toooo young as well LOL...men of my generation had plenty of oppurtunity to get with the ladies too LOL...anyway, its my opinion all the skill in the world is not gonna necessarily please *me* anyway...the only way a man can please me is to be intuned to me personally....and its not simply mature sexuality that i adore, i love the look of men in their 40's...i love greying temples and crinkles around their eyes from years of laughing...sexually i find men my age have the stamina and passion of a young man combined perfectly with the ripe skill of a man intuned to females...they don't have a need to toot their own horn and make note that they've been told they are "the best" or whatever...i prefer to see thru actions than words how gooood a man is in bed :)...plus my favorite thing about falling in love at my age with a man my age is how peaceful we both are...we've "been there/done that" with volatile/hot headed/jealous rages/lovers spats ad nauseaum....we've toned down and come to accept things on a more peaceful level...that is a beautifully sweet thing in romance...i have zero interest in a guy who is easily offended and ready to battle LOL

so i suppose some guys can be very skilled in their 20's...my husband was i remember (after i trained him my way that is LOL)...and maybe this young stud is partly the reason this poster is having a thrilling time.... but i can't imagine it has anything to do with experimenting sexually as teens or that younger guys are more "talented" or more eager to learn nowadays....men have always known that the key to hot sex is to inspire a hot woman...i can't recall one lover who didn't know that basic fact, its "sex 101" in my view.

honey

    

Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 05-20-2004 - 5:22pm
But aren't ALL new relationships hot and heavy in the beginning? I doubt she would have married her Ex if he wasn't as desirous of her in the beginning. She's saying that sex has NEVER been this satisfying before. I guess only she can answer that question though.


Edited 5/20/2004 5:25 pm ET ET by katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 05-20-2004 - 6:42pm
"But aren't ALL new relationships hot and heavy in the beginning? I doubt she would have married her Ex if he wasn't as desirous of her in the beginning. She's saying that sex has NEVER been this satisfying before."

Only thing that makes sense to me is if she's never been satisfied like this before, then this guy is clearly more satisfying than anything before, 'including' those prior relationships ...otherwise, why use the term "like NEVER before"?

Since this guy is satisfying her 'like her husband never has' anyway, then I'm kinda led, as humbly as I can state this since I'm no expert, to believe that this GUY must have something or is doing something different.

She really should give herself credit as well, but I still think there is something about THIS guy anyway, even if its simply the way he holds her or grabs her or even if it really is his physical features, that actually does contribute to driving her like "NEVER before."

I was just wondering if it was his "style" or something since the tone of the replies seemed to downplay his physical features somewhat, that's all.

Make sense?

:)

 

C  H  A  R  A  C  T  E  R

Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 05-20-2004 - 9:21pm
I guess it's natural that guys will always be tempted to put more stock into size (or youth)in making a major difference in her experience than I personally would, but hey, time will tell why she's enjoying sex as much as she does now.

She IS at a different point in her life and THAT alone could make all the difference in the world!

My bet is that she will likely continue to enjoy sex, with THIS guy or any other partner she really desires, regardless of the size of the equipment he's packing, IMO.

But whatever the reason (or combination of reasons), I'm glad to hear that she's finally getting made love to properly! LOL!






Edited 5/20/2004 9:37 pm ET ET by katmandoo2001

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