C-Ring : Question for the Men

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2004
C-Ring : Question for the Men
10
Thu, 05-20-2004 - 10:58am
I have been dating my SO for 5 1/2 years. Sex is not an issue. However, TOYS ARE!!! I can do without toys however, I feel compelled to keep the passion alive, and so I recently went adult toy shopping.

During oral sex, I introduced a penis ring to him, and asked him to wear it. IT WAS LIVID. He took the ring out of my fingers and through it clear across the bedroom. Then he went on to say "I don't need that ... " I explained to him that I had not bought the ring to enhance his size rather I bought it because it had a cute French tickler surrounding it. The toy was meant for both of us!

In the past we have used other toys but for some reason the ring offended his masculinity as it was to be placed directly on him and NOT me. I felt horrible.

What did I do wrong? Should I have discussed it with him before buying it? Since when are c**k rings offensive? Geesh!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2004
Thu, 05-20-2004 - 11:42am
"compelled to keep the passion alive"

Hubby and I have been married for 28 years. The passion and fire are still lit. Never once have we use toys, role playing, other persons, etc. to keep it ignited. Passion is borne out of love, not by superficial means.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-10-2003
Thu, 05-20-2004 - 11:51am
Last_hurrah: Well, good for you, but she asked a simple enough question. I don't think passion is only borne out of love. I mean some times, f'sure ...

Anyhow. Never had one of those thangs on BUT I was really really surprised when a totally normal, genteel, above-board lass brought it up once! ... I guess one of her exes had regularly been thusly equipped. I thought they were strictly seen in, e.g., gay bars and S&M dungeons! I'm also positive I read somewhere that they are not at all healthy for one's penis because they trap the blood or something ... heck, what do I know. At the very least, I can't imagine they're terribly comfy -- don't they go on so that they wrap around your balls or whatever?! Yikes, I'd feel like a rodeo bull!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2004
Thu, 05-20-2004 - 11:57am

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2004
Thu, 05-20-2004 - 12:32pm
I for one have no idea why he freaked. I have used the sleeves before, and she loved it. I have not used a ring, but I would not have a problem with it. I think he may have some performance issues. May not think or be comfortable enoguh in his ability to please you. How is he size wise? Larger, smaller, above or below average? That may have something to do with it too. Most women on here will tell you size doesn't matter, but the rest of the world seems to push so hard to convince men that there size is more important than it is. So it is understandable I think for men to have size concerns. I had them for a while, but once I actually saw the results of statistical size measurements, I felt a lot better. But, if he has such a problem with it, don't make him use it, anc caontinue to praise his ability. You have to make sure he knows you are completely satisfied with him, and that you are happy with his talents. Men are very sensative to issues of the manhood. Some of the smallest comments can effect dramamtically a mans views on his sexual ability, and or size. It is a very tricky situation. Think about the hips. Women ask all the time, am I fat, or are my hips to big, or whatever. And the man, whether she is 300+ or less than 100 always says the same thing. You look nice the way you are, or I love you just how you are, or whatever. Well, Right answer for a woman? Wrong answer to a guy.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2004
Thu, 05-20-2004 - 12:53pm
It's makes it harder and makes him last longer.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2004
Thu, 05-20-2004 - 1:10pm
I tried putting one on my hubby too and he didn't want it at all. Didn't even want to try it! (?) Who knows?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2004
Thu, 05-20-2004 - 2:10pm
Thank you very much for your replies. I am of the opinion he was turned off by it. Perhaps this kind of toy was a bit too much for his ego. Maybe I try too much. Just between the two of us, the passion is very much alive. However, I am always coming up with something whether it be bringing a toy or food into bed with us. Like the time we tried the Champagne Fizz (I had read it in a book)!

Has anyone ever tried the Champagne Fizz?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2004
Thu, 05-20-2004 - 2:16pm
No, never tried that. We are just the opposite in our home with my husband bringing all the toys to bed. I don't think he likes it when I introduce anything new which is fine with me. I like being surprised. I never know what he's got under the sheets sometimes. Sometimes it's nothing, but him, other times, he will begin using something and wants me to guess what it is.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 05-20-2004 - 4:03pm
Reminder: I am no expert by any means.

Does he really know how YOU feel about it and 'why' you got it?! You sure?? Also, why doesn't he make sure that you know how he feels about it? Ahem, yes that would include 'why' he feels that way. THIS communication, no matter how self-revealing it is, is part of the reason we couples are together, IMHO, and its time for him to step up to the plate and show you that he does trust you enough to reveal what his problem is...no matter how well we online here can guess it for you. Right?

I'd also make sure he knows that you do NOT know anymore whether or not its okay to introduce something new or even ask about it. You don't know what his reaction will be unless he's willing to tell you or talk to you about it as opposed to "that is acceptable or unacceptable." No relationship does well with these guessing games and its just not that good to "hide" your feelings about something from your partner either, ESPECIALLY when it involves the BOTH of you...ahem...in this case, SEX! ;)

If you feel more comfortable asking "us" than you do "him" about what "his" problem is, then do what my wifey does whenever I pulled that and just...uh...can't type that or Julie would delete this. LOL!!! Sooooo...good luck. There. ;}

Mr. Para

property of her royal majesticness, Mrs. Para

 

C  H  A  R  A  C  T  E  R

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2001
Fri, 05-21-2004 - 4:06am
I seem to recall many years ago that when I first heard about c__k rings it was in the context of helping erections that weren't as, umm..., firm, as they could be. I know that in recent years they have all sorts of ticklers and gadgets added to them to stimulate the female but originally they were to help a guy keep it up. I would guess that this is what offended your guy. You, unknowingly, were insulting his manhood by presenting him with a c__kring.

I've used one with the vibrating bullet inside a sleeve mounted on the ring before. That was just magic - for want of a better word, for both of us. Perhaps you could discuss it and try one of those? It's quite obviously designed to stimulate a woman so he may not be as upset by that idea.