Double standards
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Double standards
| Fri, 05-21-2004 - 2:46pm |
Because of the responces to this comment about double standards between men and women, I figured I would start a thread on it.
Do you believe a double standard exists about sexuality of men and women?
What do you feel is the cause of this double standard?
Would you find it harder to believe a man or a woman who cried Rape??? (for your benefit Tish. He He)
And last, if your mate complained that you were not doing something that they really enjoyed, how much of your own opinion on it would you bring to the conversation, and would you expect your partner to give up something they really liked because you didn't??
Any other comments/questions are welcome. I don't like the double standards in sexuality but I have no choice but to accept them as they are.

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I think the cause of many double standards was the patriarchial society we endured which resulted in a lower social standing for women and children. We've been playing catch up ever since. Female satifaction wasn't even an issue until 40 or so years ago.
I would probably find it harder to believe the man but only because a man would likely never admit to being raped in the first place.
IF my DH felt that I was neglecting his needs in some way, then we would discuss it and find a compromise that we both could live with. But my DH wouldn't want me to endure something just for his benefit either.
I think double standards are an evil we'll always have to deal with, but it's each couple's choice whether they're allowed in the bedroom. I think double standards ultimately cause resentment and frustration though.
No. I think stereotypes exist, and when you don't fit it gets attention. I think some people have their own double standards, but it comes from their own life experiences.
>>What do you feel is the cause of this double standard?<<
Like I said above, people's own personal double standards are a result of their own life experiences.
>>Would you find it harder to believe a man or a woman who cried Rape??? (for your benefit Tish. He He)<<
For a man, not if he cliamed rape by another man. Rape by a woman I wouldn't believe. For a woman, it depends on the circumstances. I know of a woman who I didn't believe at all.
>>And last, if your mate complained that you were not doing something that they really enjoyed, how much of your own opinion on it would you bring to the conversation, and would you expect your partner to give up something they really liked because you didn't??<<
Well, I usually just comply. The only thing he has ever said is asked for more BJ's when we haven't done any in awhile. But since I love giving them it's not a compromise. He has asked me to do things we normally do differently, and I don't mind. I want him to enjoy himself. I always bring my opinion in because it matters just like his does. I owuld never expect my partner to give up something he likes because I didn't. I would find a way to enjoy it.
Leticia
Any other comments/questions are welcome. I don't like the double standards in sexuality but I have no choice but to accept them as they are.
Yes. Like Kat, I believe there's one in still in existence with respect to promiscuity. In my time, there was a double standard about women being expected to give oral to be worthy, but men weren't. If the teens of today are any indication, it's probably still in effect, and worse!
What do you feel is the cause of this double standard?
Word of mouth. It stinks really, because it can control a whole gender. tee hee
Would you find it harder to believe a man or a woman who cried Rape??? (for your benefit Tish. He He)
I would take any rape cry seriously male or female. My DH knows a guy who was raped by a neighbor when he was young. She forced him to give her oral and he still hates giving oral because of it.
And last, if your mate complained that you were not doing something that they really enjoyed, how much of your own opinion on it would you bring to the conversation, and would you expect your partner to give up something they really liked because you didn't??
Yes, I would expect him to give it up. My DH and I have been together for 26 years and anal sex is something that he may never get. I know he's interested but NEVER has he pressured me.
Edited 5/21/2004 5:17 pm ET ET by free_to_choose
Women in general seem to want a double standard to exist, not just in sex, but in life itself. They want to be equal, yet "the weaker" sex. They want the same pay, whether they can or are willing to do the same work. They want equal say, but want to pay half the price. See what I am saying.
Expect chivalry, but also want to be equal?? When does a woman open and hold a door for the man??? When does a woman wait for the man to be seated, and then take theres, or push the chair in?? When does a woman reach for the bill?? In a relationship, it happens a lot more often than in single life, but the double standard is prevalent throughout our society and not just the sexual side of it.
I am not an advocate of sexism, but I believe it does have its place in society. Not to the degree of old, no where near for that matter, but I do believe men and women have there places in society, and those places should be kept. Not preg and barefoot in the kitchen, but also at the same time not on the front lines taking lead!!!!! I mean it is a delicate thing to say these days, and I hope it gets a lot of comment and reaction. IMHO it will get a heated reaction from some, but at the same time, I think a lot of women out there will agree with me to an extent too.
>>Women in general seem to want a double standard to exist, not just in sex, but in life itself. They want to be equal, yet "the weaker" sex. They want the same pay, whether they can or are willing to do the same work.<<
Yep. My DH was in the US Army for almost 6 years. At the time, I wasn't working so I regularly went on post to watch them do heavy drops(DH drove a crane and picked up what was dropped) and I was amazed at how lazy the women could be. There were lazy men, but there were far too many lazy women. The physical test has lower standars for women. It seems to be only when it comes to physical labor though. When you start looking at desk jobs, women tend to be hard working(atleast in my experience).
>>Expect chivalry, but also want to be equal?? When does a woman open and hold a door for the man??? When does a woman wait for the man to be seated, and then take theres, or push the chair in?? When does a woman reach for the bill?? In a relationship, it happens a lot more often than in single life, but the double standard is prevalent throughout our society and not just the sexual side of it.<<
Now here I disagree. Being chivalrous to me falls under respect, not equality. Men and women show each other respect in different ways. I actually find it rare for men in their 20's to open the door for me, but men in their 30's and over almost always do. I think it's a dying form of respect :o( Everytime my DH opens the door for me I say Thank You, which is my way of showing him I appreciate the respect. Maybe it is a double standard, but it's not one I feel needs to be changed. I also see alot more couples going dutch, so I am not sure the guy always pays that much anymore either. I am 26, and have never had a man raise when I approach the table, or wait for me to be seated :o( For me, it's just nice being treated like a lady.
Leticia
As far as the Army girls, I was in the US Navy for five years. During that time I only met one woman I would want on the battlefield with me, and not because I would want to die having sex, but because I knew she would actually watch my back, and die trying to defend me, just as I would her!!! She was not a lazy woman, either. When we were humping a 900 pound pod out, she was out there pushing or pulling just like the guys. She even got pregnant, and during the first 8 monthes, she still busted butt to get the job done. I had a lot of respect for her, as a sailor, and as a person. Then there were the other women in my command, and in other commands, and you should have heard this girl talking about, and to them. She would get heated when it came to how lazy they were. It was very cool to see, and one of the reasons my respect for her grew so much.
Yes I agree to an extent.
Do you have any ideas as to how to change society's view of the sexes?
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