Oral question

Avatar for debra1016
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Oral question
20
Fri, 05-21-2004 - 4:15pm
Okay, in an effort to revitalize our sex life (I posted last week regarding DH's lack of libido), I initiated oral sex the other night. I used to really enjoy doing this, and have been told I was quite good at it, but it's been awhile. I noticed I have much more of a gag reflex than I used to, I have no idea why. I thought maybe it was because I was kneeling in front of him, maybe it was a bad angle, but I just couldn't find a comfortable way to take in as much as I could. I know he would love me to go all the way down, and I used to be able to do this. Any suggestions for how to position myself as to not gag? I admit, since it's been so long for us, I was a little anxious and perhaps overzealous, maybe I just wasn't relaxed.

Any feedback would be appreciated, thank you!

 

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2004
In reply to: debra1016
Fri, 05-21-2004 - 4:19pm
I would give it some time. If it's been awhile, I would assume that it's just a matter of getting to know him again. I think it will come(no pun) back to you quickly. Just let him atleast enjoy the sensation of a mouth and toungue in his penis, I'm sure that's enough ;o) No worries.

Leticia

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2004
In reply to: debra1016
Fri, 05-21-2004 - 4:37pm
Yes, you need to really relax. Take your time. Just take him in a little at a time and go a little deeper with every few strokes. Wrap your tongue around him and get your mouth really into it. Eventually you will feel like taking him in completely. About an hour beforehand, if you can, set the mood if, nothing else, but for yourself. Light the candles, have a glass of wine, put whatever sexy music on that gets you going - those things all help to relax and put you in a mood. Good luck.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-10-2003
In reply to: debra1016
Fri, 05-21-2004 - 4:40pm
Tell me about how this all works ... I'm in two relationships at the moment but I'm starting to care very much about one of them and not so much about the other. But what's funny is, I've had the opportunity to compare two very different bj styles! ...

... the woman I'm starting to really care about is much more experienced in this regard, but has an awful gag reflex (literally, she once, uhh, threw up doing it with only about 2/3 of my penis in her mouth). Maybe that's because she's physically quite petite; I dunno. The other one, who's nice, much taller but as time goes by seemingly not worthy of the same level of adoration, who had almost no experience with oral as her older former husband did not want oral sex has in a few short weeks learned to fully deepthroat me with absolutely zero gagging or anything else (except a rather incredible quantity of saliva lol). I so enjoy it but I'd much rather that the woman I like so much could acquire these same skills! Can gagging be un-learned?

Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: debra1016
Fri, 05-21-2004 - 4:51pm
Don't be so critical of yourself. The fact that you initiated was very pleasing to him, I'm sure. Anything we don't do regularly will take some time to ease back in to, so do the best you can and you'll get your moves back before you know it. Hopefully, your efforts will result in more activity for you. BTW, did he reciprocate?
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2004
In reply to: debra1016
Fri, 05-21-2004 - 4:52pm
Hard to say. My husband is the only man I have performed oral on, so I am not sure if different sizes or shapes or bends are easier. I will say, alot of women can't deep throat(me included). You can still give great oral without it. I would suggest working with what she does know(2/3 is plenty of penis to take in), and you can work on the deep throat if you want but realize it may not happen. I have learned over time to take more and more in, and I am confident I will get to a point where I can deep throat. But if I never do, DH won't be hurting for pleasure ;o)

Leticia


Edited 5/21/2004 4:53 pm ET ET by yarn_lover

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2004
In reply to: debra1016
Fri, 05-21-2004 - 5:23pm
What is the big thing with deep throating anyway? All the men I've ever been with have always said around the tip is the most sensitive and feels the best. But then, they want the deep throating??? Personally, I think they just like the way you look with all their manlihood inside your mouth. I could be wrong, but does it really feel that good? Or is it more a visual? I think using one's tongue and a sucking motion is the true ticket. So, what gives with that anyway?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2004
In reply to: debra1016
Fri, 05-21-2004 - 5:31pm
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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-10-2003
In reply to: debra1016
Fri, 05-21-2004 - 5:40pm
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Not in the least! It's just so incredibly cool to watch, like a magic act. I must agree, the pleasure's probably more psychological than physical. Certainly you can give killer bjs w/o being able to do it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2004
In reply to: debra1016
Fri, 05-21-2004 - 5:52pm
Hmmmm - just what I thought. More pleasure in watching than the actual feeling. Thanks.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2004
In reply to: debra1016
Fri, 05-21-2004 - 6:21pm
This is the one time where a guy's having a small penis works greatly to his benefit. I can do waaaaay more orally with a little one. That's a pretty good revenge I would think!

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