cheating?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2004
cheating?
22
Fri, 05-21-2004 - 6:49pm
I'm back. i read your posts and left my bfriend. i thought he was my bfriend because he told me that he loved me and only me. i found out that he was also going out with another girl that we know. he was also having sex with her. should i tell the other girl? also how safe am i? we used condoms only to have sex and not for oral. i feel so dirty thinking that he might have did her and then me without showering.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2004
In reply to: hell_to_raise
Fri, 05-21-2004 - 6:53pm
Sorry to hear about that. I think you would have known if he had not showered before having sex with you though. Maybe make a trip to your doctor and tell him so he can check you out.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2004
In reply to: hell_to_raise
Fri, 05-21-2004 - 6:54pm
Wow...yes, tell her. Well, you said you know her so I am assuming you are friends or at least acquaintances and you should tell her. What that guy was doing to you against your will was just sick and degrading, and you should help her get out just like you did. Congrats on getting away from him. I'm sure you'll find a guy who deserves you soo much more!!

Good luck!

Angel

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2004
In reply to: hell_to_raise
Fri, 05-21-2004 - 6:57pm
doctor? what can he tell me? what can I test for and do i have to wait? how can i tell if he just showerd? sometime he not so fresh. ew, i'm getting sick thinking about it. creep.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2004
In reply to: hell_to_raise
Fri, 05-21-2004 - 7:01pm
I don't really know, but I would at least go to my doc and tell him what happened. See what he says, he would know if and what he would test you for. All tests take some time. Well, I can tell if my hubby hasn't showered before we are intimate, so I'm figuring others can too. Yeah, you are much better off without him.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2004
In reply to: hell_to_raise
Fri, 05-21-2004 - 7:14pm
he told me that he did her and he told me that he has had sex with over 100 women. i'm really scared; he did not tell me any of this before. i don't think he respects women. i think he player. you know what they say....live and learn. thank you.
Avatar for sugarbeat
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: hell_to_raise
Fri, 05-21-2004 - 7:52pm
i'm sorry this happened to you. you should definitely get checked out -- just tell your doctor you think you may have been exposed to an std and would like to get checked out for all of them. having so many partners, there is a good chance he had been exposed to stds. just curious, did you insist on using condoms or did he bring it up himself? i generally assume the way guys act with me is the way they act with other women (i.e. if they don't want to use condoms, that probably means they have gone condomless before).

i think you should tell her. if the tables were turned, i'm sure you would want her to share the information with you. just do it in a concerned and caring way.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2004
In reply to: hell_to_raise
Fri, 05-21-2004 - 8:27pm
Sorry, I read and posted to your other post before this one.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2004
In reply to: hell_to_raise
Fri, 05-21-2004 - 11:24pm
Definitely get yourself checked out. Don't bother saying anything to the other girl. If she knows you, then she knew he was with you as well. Some people don't care if someone is taken.

Leticia

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2004
In reply to: hell_to_raise
Sat, 05-22-2004 - 9:23am
"Some people don't care if someone is taken" What does taken mean? It depends on what your understanding was with your ex BF. Did he tell you that the two of you were exclusive? If not, why would anyone assume that you can only have sex and date one woman at a time? That is silly. Humans are very sexual creatures and I know when I was in college and a young adult I had several "full service" friendships with women at the same time. Everyone knew and there is nothing wrong with enjoying sex that way. Having more than one partner is not dirty, ugly or anything else. Its a beautiful way to share love. As far as being a player...women and men are both equally capable of this...usually the women are just better at hiding it!
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-23-2003
In reply to: hell_to_raise
Sat, 05-22-2004 - 9:46am
That explains why my child had to get vaccinated for HBV(hepatitis b) prior to entering college. It's mandatory. Unfortunately, other STDs can't be stopped as easily, even while wearing gloves. Casual sex today is dirty and ugly because STDs made it so. Dance around that all that you want, that's a fact.

You did say that all of the parties involved knew about each other, the OP did not. You made a conscious choice to engage in casual sex, she did not.

I'd be curious, as to exactly how often people engage in sexual relations today without exclusivity, and their ages.

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