hubby inhibited

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-23-2004
hubby inhibited
6
Sun, 05-23-2004 - 7:26pm
Why is it that my husband won't masturbate in front of me? I have tried over and over and over again to tell him how much I want this and still he is too shy. We have been having sex for nine years now and I would like to know if he will ever do this for me. OUr sex life is great but this one thing he won't do for me. If we're having sex and I mention it, and he tries, he loses his erection and crams up. He gets mad at me now for keeping on asking him, but I really want this. Should I give up?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2004
Sun, 05-23-2004 - 8:37pm
If he hasn't done it in 9 years, he probably won't.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2004
Sun, 05-23-2004 - 11:16pm
I know that I would hate to be asked to do something that I totaly do not want to do. I understand that this may be GREAT and EXCITING for you but if the thought of him doing it in front of you or even talking to him about it makes him loose erection.....who's getting what then...if your hubby doesnt want to do this then leave it alone.

Christi

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2004
Mon, 05-24-2004 - 1:55am
Has he said why it bothers him? Perhaps it is having all the attention on himself. Would he do it while you were masturbating? That way he doesn't have the pressure on him, and he gets a good visual to help him keep his erection ;o) Maybe him seeing you pleasure yourself because of how turned on you are by him masturbating will help him get past this hurdle. If he doesn't want to, I think you may just have to let this go. It's difficult enough to be vulnerable like that, but to lose his erection too may also be getting to him.

Leticia

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-23-2004
Mon, 05-24-2004 - 8:34am
No, he doesn't want me to do it either. He thinks it's a private act.
Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 05-24-2004 - 12:03pm
My advice? STOP NAGGING HIM ABOUT IT!!! Nothing's worse than a constant drone about something that you've already given an answer to. Put yourself in HIS place. What if he wanted a threesome with your mother, you said no, and he kept asking for it constantly??

He KNOWS you'd like for this to be part of your sexual activity, now leave it alone. It MIGHT enhance your sex life but it's not a deal breaker, you aren't being deprived because he doesn't do it for you.

Respect the fact that he thinks that masturbation is a private act. In the future, he may change his mind. But that should be his decision. IF you pressure him into finally doing it....he WILL resent you for it!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2004
Mon, 05-24-2004 - 1:45pm
If he feels it's a private act whether it with him or you, then I would respect that and stop pushing him.
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