Turn ons and Fantasies
Find a Conversation
Turn ons and Fantasies
| Tue, 05-25-2004 - 5:21pm |
My GF and I have a wonderful sex life. At times, it does get somewhat hard for me cause at times I feel she doesn't desire me as much as she use to or think about being intimate as much as before. Since, I'm in love with her (for four wonderful years), and I want to be a wonderful lover, I have talked to her many times about what turns her on, and what her fantasies are. The answer I get is she doesn't have any fantasies about us or about sex, and she doesn't know what turns her on. We are both in our late 20s and I find it somewhat unbelievable that she doesn't have fantasies and doesn't know what turns her on. At times, this bothers me because I feel I always have to initiate sex and ask her, in a polite manner, to do things. Also, I try and be creative and talk to her about scenarios we could try or games we might play, etc. Now, I'm not pushy or anything like that, and I don't treat her like an object, she has even told me that. But, in the beginning of our relationship she use to initiate sex all the time and was very open to what she likes. Now, since I don't want our sex life to be routine, I have asked her about things she likes that turn her on, or if she fantasizes about sex. Has anyone ever heard anything like this before and how can we solve this? Sometimes I think that she needs to get in touch with her sexual side because we are all sexual beings. Right?
-Utah
-Utah

Pages
BUT why not invest in some written erotica and start reading to one another each night? IF she's thinking about sex more, she will probably be more interested in acting out some of what she's hearing and reading. This has helped my DH and I in our 28 yrs. together.
Sometimes, you just need to take the pressure off, and start priming the pump again....the "pump" being her mind. Women need to FEEL sexy before they act sexy. And the best way to encourage your GF to reconnect with her sexuality is aurally. We women respond to what we hear.
Think about how much you "wooed" (is that word even used anymore?) her in the beginning and how she responded and start doing that again.
Edited 5/25/2004 6:02 pm ET ET by katmandoo2001
>>>I think that she needs to get in touch with her sexual side because we are all sexual beings. Right?
Wrong!
Sharon
A friend is the person who kn
The hardest thing to do in any relationship, is to allow your partner to be themselves and not try to change them, ever so slightly, to be more like you. Change only occurs when your partner decides to compromise for the benefit of the relationship. In this case, that can go both ways, can't it?
Edited 5/26/2004 11:59 am ET ET by katmandoo2001
Sorry, If I wasn't clear originally, but I don't think you fully comprenhended my reply.
Sharon
A friend is the person who kn
Robin
Well just reading what I've said, it is. Amazing! I see that I want to be the best she has ever had. And by badgering her about this, doesn't make things easier for her to open up to me about this subject. Basically, I do need to give her a 'just her night'. A night where it is all about her. No gimics, no games, just wonderful and passionate love. Cuddling, kissing, just show her exactly how much she really means to me. Thanks for helping me understand and see where I was going wrong with this entire situation.
i actually would find it a turn off to have my man question me about what turns me on, can't he tell i'm pleased by him when we make love i'd feel?...i'd be turned off to have him question what are my fantasys, i am quite sure they would not turn him on and besides which they are mine alone and i only fantasize during masturbation so he need not know.
just my $.02.
honey
Pages