Erection problems

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2004
Erection problems
3
Thu, 05-27-2004 - 4:14pm
Hi all, I have a question and hope someone can help me.I'm not saying its this way for sure but just wanted some opinons. I noticed for awhile now, not all the time but sometimes, my husband can not keep an erection. He has no problem getting one but has trouble keeping one. I have done some research on porn because he has a problem with that, and it does state that SOMETIMES the viewing of to much porn can change the chemicals in peoples brains and they begin the think and feel that the human flesh doesn't do alot for them, because of the amount of porn being viewed. They become dependent on that to keep them aroused. I'm sure there may be other causes as well, not sure what. He is 34 years old and seems to be in pretty good shape. So i don't know if its a medical issue or not. He tells me when this happens that he thinks he's trying to hard. That may very well be the case too. However, I was just wondering if anyone else knows what it may be. Thanks.

Hugs to all!

firefly

Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 05-27-2004 - 5:18pm
I think you may have answered your own question about his problem. You said that porn is an issue for him so it's possible that your intuition is correct.

Porn is fantasy and fantasy is all about the fantasizer. In a normal sexual exchange, some of the attention and time is given to the partner so it's possible that he is unable to keep his erection because he isn't being stimulated 100% of the time but devoting some of that time to you. I hope.

IF he's spending too much time viewing and masturbating to porn, then he will train himself to respond to certain things and to certain stimuli. IF he has a problem and it's hurting your sex life, then he should seek counseling.

But it's quite possible that he has a blood flow problem, too. Not likely at his age, but possible. He should get a checkup with his urologist to be sure.

AND last but not least, he actually COULD be causing his erectile dysfunction because of anxiety and worry over not functioning.

Talk with him...ask him to cut back on the porn to see if that helps and ask him to make an appt. with the dr. If he is unable to cut back on his porn use, or unwilling, then he may have a real dependence on it and that will require professional counseling to overcome..

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
Thu, 05-27-2004 - 5:21pm
My DH was 34 when we got married a year ago. Shortly after we got married he started having problems keeping his erections. He went to the doctor who then sent him to a urologist. After a few tests we found out that my DH was suffering from chronic prostate infections. Cutting back on caffeinee, red meat and fatty foods has helped a lot. Occassionally the problem crops back up and the dietary changes don't help enough. He goes back to the doctor and gets a round of antibotics and things go smoothly for a while longer.

Hope you find the help you need. My DH's problem was a real strain on our marriage, especailly just starting out like we were. I thought I was the problem for a long while. Once we found out that it really was him and that it was something that we could fix I was much better able to be supportive and am even able to help him not be so self-conscious about the whole thing. It's still a problem now and then, but we can deal with it a lot better now because we know it's a temoporary thing.

I do know, too, that porn will eat a hole in a relationship faster than a bowl weavel on a cotton bowl, so I do hope that you encourage him to get help for his sexual addiction issues. (Yes, that's what a porn habit is, a sexual addiction.) I am a social worker and sadly see the effects of this addiction on families and children every day.

Good luck!

Patience77

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2004
Thu, 05-27-2004 - 5:36pm
Hello patience, thanks for your reply. It very well could be medical. I will talk with him about going to get at check up at least and maybe we go from there. I did start to notice it though not long after he was on the porn. Thats where I kinda got the idea it may be that. it might not be either, so we will look into it. Thanks again.

Hugs to you!

firefly