Ever feel like this????

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Ever feel like this????
21
Fri, 05-28-2004 - 11:19pm
I always thought that the older I got, the less impulsive and more mature I would become, and in most cases that is very true. However, as of late something keeps getting worse. Let me clarify: I met a man online not long ago, and although I don't know him at all (just what he has told me), I find my self fascinated with him. He says he lives within easy driving distance of me, but that is all I know right now. Now, I know all about people not being whom they seem online (I haven't even seen a pic of this guy) and the dangers that can be involved; but that is not what is concerning me here. What is getting scary to me is how driven I am becoming. Last night, when I read his e-mail, I felt like hopping in my car and driving all night just to get to him! It is a terrible burning desire, worse than physical stuff like hunger, thirst, etc. Does this get worse as you age? I feel like my libido is getting more unruly the older I get! I thought this "teenage lust" would mellow out (I'm 34 but sometimes I feel like 16!) once I got out of college. I just wanted to go find this man and leap on him like a horny dog (pardon the analogy!)! In these situtions (I have done it with guys in person as well - in thought, not deed) I feel that I almost can't help myself, like one day I'll get busted for sexual harrassment or something!

Does anyone (esp females) ever feel like this? BTW, masturbation does little to curb the feelings - like having a packet of airline peanuts when you are really starving and could eat the proverbial horse! Can anyone relate?

Schrecken
"Never fear, Underdog is here!"

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2004
Sat, 05-29-2004 - 8:35am
Schrecken I think everyone has their times when they are swept up in a thing. It is kind of like the moth being drawn to the flame. I have been interested in increasing my understanding of how women think about sex (I am trying to figure out some things that have gone on with people I know). Some of the post that I want to read are disturbing to me, but I have read them anyway. There was one on the taboo board posted by a guy (threesome that went wrong) that I read, reading it caused me to wake up in the middle of the night feeling very depressed. The man that started the post and his wife followed a desire that caused them lot of pain and probably destroyed their marrage. Your desire to take this internet romance to another level could cause you a lot of pain if not done carefully.

You have already indicated you know the danger in what you are thinking. It is a warning. Most of us have feelings, at different times, of really wanting some wild sex really bad. Hook up with someone you trust, they are out there, and they want the same thing you do. Be careful!


Edited 5/29/2004 11:27 am ET ET by txguy2004


Edited 5/29/2004 11:29 am ET ET by txguy2004

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Sat, 05-29-2004 - 9:04am

Schrecken, people do have sexual desires, that is completely normal and we all want our desires fulfilled no matter what age we are.


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Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 05-29-2004 - 2:04pm
Schrecken, have you ever thought of just starting a relationship with someone, building the trust so that you can have regular safe sex?

Everyone feels lustful at times though but it's usually because their needs aren't being met at home.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2004
Sat, 05-29-2004 - 4:39pm
Shrecken,

I have to agree with the other posters in saying, BE CAREFUL if you do meet this man. Pick a public place to meet and make sure someone you trust knows where you are just in case. While I did meet my husband online, I still believe caution is the right avenue.

As far as your sexual drive, on top of what everyone else has said, I have read several times that as you get older your libido rises. I heard that between your 30's and 40's is when women are at their sexual prime while men are in their 20's. This may all be statistical but maybe that is what is happening to you.

Hope this helps.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2004
Sat, 05-29-2004 - 6:42pm
Yes, I can say that I have felt like this, but that was because I filled in the blanks with the perfect scenario, and thus, fell in love with an idea, and not reality.

Until you see reality, (ie, getting in the car and actually meeting him) then, you will be swept off your feet. Unfortunately, the longer you go without meeting him, the more perfect he will become, and the more bigger your bubble will burst after you actually meet him.

That is just the reality. Ever notice the high of a relationsip when it first starts? Well, this is that, but worse.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 05-29-2004 - 7:46pm
I think issytish offered some very good advice. I am very skeptical of meeting people online. I would NOT do it. Sure, there are a lot of normal people out there (like me) but there are also a LOT of weirdos and perverts who hid behind a computer.

I have read many of your posts in the past. In my opinion, you need to throw your computer in the dumpster, open your front door, go outside and live life. I don't understand why you aren't meeting people (men) and interacting with them in your real life? I truly think the best thing you could do for yourself would be to turn off your computer and find some real interests and hobbies that would allow you to interact face to face with other people. Exercise, book clubs, the gym, wqrk, volunteer orgs, team sports, church singles groups.

Don't be so sad and lonely that you are sucked in by sicko sex meetings (as you posted about on Taboos) and random strangers online who would like to get together to have sex. What about having a real friendship/possible relationship with a real person?

Stop thinking about SEX and start thinking about the person you want to be. Once you are on that path to being the best "you", someone will come along.

Sara

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Sat, 05-29-2004 - 8:40pm

Great ideas Sara.


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 05-29-2004 - 9:55pm

I fully agree that meeting people in the 'real world' is preferable to the net; however (I don't mean to be smart here), what is one to do when those of the opposite sex show no romantic interest at all?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 05-29-2004 - 10:20pm

Tish,


iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Sat, 05-29-2004 - 10:55pm

<>


Whoa.........RED FLAG.......sorry schrecken, but performing intimate "medical exams" to


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

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