My Life is Like a Levitra Commercial

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2000
My Life is Like a Levitra Commercial
12
Sun, 05-30-2004 - 12:12pm
It's all about quality, and we have plently of quality. My man just can't wipe that smile off his face. Neither can I. Life is like the best romance novel. Like it's supposed to be. Two beautiful people in a committed monogamous relationship who just can't keep their hands off each other. And we can't contain our joy. We have to let everyone know how delighted we are.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Sun, 05-30-2004 - 5:33pm
Sounds like you have a fantastic relationship with your guy.

bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2004
Wed, 06-02-2004 - 12:15pm
Just curious, how long you two been together? My SO & I have been having out problems lately and she's skeptical that people can keep wild romantic passion in their lives over the long haul. Since I do believe it is not only possible but the only way I want to live, I'd love to hear from others who are successful, and how/why it works for them.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Wed, 06-02-2004 - 12:55pm

Hi Ivlearned,


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2004
Wed, 06-02-2004 - 1:20pm
Tish, just a side note but I am glad to see long termers here(you and Kat come to mind). I have only been married 7 years(8 next month) but even at that people have been surpised at the length of our marriage. Seems sad the times we are in. Maybe it is because we are young(26 and 27), who knows. When we were first married we were very affectionate. People would ask us how long we had been married, and after we told them they would say give it a few years and it will stop. We were always going huh? Well, we are still very affectionate LOL. It will never stop, we don't want it to. I love reading about marriages that are long term and filled with meaning and passion. I wish there were more examples out there :o( Anyway, not trying to gush just rambling I guess ...

Leticia

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2004
Wed, 06-02-2004 - 1:21pm
My query was aimed at one and all, and I appreciate your response. My SO & I have a stormy relationship and part of it, from my perspective, is that she will not observe what I see as your "cardinal" rule, which you expressed when you wrote, "You can't let everyday things take over your sex life. We leave all our problems, stresses, etc outside the bedroom door at night and pick them back up in the morning." There may also be issues regarding "clashing libidos", i.e., differing sex drives and how much importance we each attach to connecting that way as an expression of our intimacy. Don't konw, I'm trying to sort it all out.

Thanks!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Wed, 06-02-2004 - 4:58pm
Ivlearned, if you and your SO are having problems, you have to talk about them.

bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2004
Wed, 06-02-2004 - 5:02pm
I couldn't agree more with your post. JT and I have been together for only three years but I am SOOO SICK of hearing people say that it won't last!! We aren't married yet but I still like to think that the love amd compassion and romance we share now and have shared over the yeras will alwyas last. As a matter of fact, we were falling into a routine and the both of us felt it so we did something we haven't done since the relationship was brand new. I am happy to say that I fell in love with him all over agian and feel those giddy butterflies in my stomach again! He feels the same way and I am happy that we talked about it - Tish was right on when she said to ALWAYS keep the lines of communication open - and did something about it. We weren't bored with each toher, just saw that we were falling into a routine which is something neither of us wanted to do. Anyways, I am glad other young people still hold the view of lasting forever with their SO, it gives me more hope. TTFN!!
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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Wed, 06-02-2004 - 5:17pm
Thanks Leticia.

bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

Avatar for katmandoo2001
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Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 06-02-2004 - 5:48pm
Wow, you're right. It's not only possible, but what everyone USED to expect from marriage! Expectations and attitudes have changed drastically though.

My parents enjoyed a wonderfully healthy sex life. My mother told me this after my dad died. They enjoyed one another every other night for 25 yrs. But we got married in the late 70's when people were as cynical and negative about marital sex as they are now!

For us, something as simple as taking a sexual break from one another can renew those feelings again but slumps are totally normal and we both had them.

It's not always necessary to DO anything to get things back on track either. Time can take care of many issues that aren't seriously endangering the marriage. My DH and I are both great believers in giving your partner space when needed. That alone can work wonders. As well as just going back to the basics. "Date" your partner, surprise them with thoughtful little gestures or ideas. Everyone loves to be remembered and appreciated.

But there have been times in our marriage, that my DH and I felt like roommates, for various external reasons, and there have been times when we felt like honeymooners again. The thing is, that's ALL normal and to be expected.

People just don't have realistic expectations of marital sex anymore nor do they seem to remember that love matures, deepens and changes. We aren't supposed to be in a prolonged state of arousal and lust for one another. How can you get anything else done?

Our point of view is that sex is a wonderful gift we give one another but it's only ONE part of our life together, not the whole package. The foundation for us is trust, respect and friendship, not lust.

We try to keep a balanced perspective about the big picture. Don't make sex THE single health barometer of your relationship because we've found that sometimes you are emotionally closer when you aren't even having sex!

And as my dear old dad used to say about marriage, "if you tend the garden regularly and lovingly, you won't have to deal with the weeds."


Edited 6/2/2004 5:52 pm ET ET by katmandoo2001

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2003
Thu, 06-03-2004 - 1:59pm
The best way to succeed is to build a fortress(metaphorically) together. Protect it, up-keep it and enjoy it.

Like Kat, in 26 years we've had many outside influences that we've had to battle and came through them slightly scathed. What kept us together was the love, respect, and trust, not lust. Lust was always there waiting for us whenever the dust cleared. It's never waivered in strength from the first time we've been together, it's simply a result not a cause. I find that as we age, we're closer than ever both spiritually and sexually because we've shared so much of life's ups and downs. I feel a peace and grace in my life and it's reflected sexually as well.

My only advice to success is to turn towards one another, not away, at all costs. It takes two. ;-)

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