Threesome

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2004
Threesome
66
Tue, 06-01-2004 - 11:05am
Hubby and I had a threesome(our fourth) with a man a month ago who was incredible in bed, and who was well equipped. Unlike all of the other threesomes(two were FMF), he is a man that my husband works with. We socialize with him often, and he's unattached(has been for almost two years), and he's sexy as all hell! I find myself thinking and fantasizing about him all of the time, wanting to have more sex with him, and I believe that I'm emotionally involved to some extent. He was over yesterday for the holiday, and at one point he looked at me and said we have to "get together" real soon, and then he winked. Has anyone else ever gotten so attached over the third-person in a threesome? If so, how did you proceed?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2004
Tue, 06-01-2004 - 11:21am
If you value your marriage, walk away. Don't look back. Don't do this to your husband, and to yourself. What happened, happened, and at this point it is my opinion that it should not happen again with this man. You have to stay as unattached to them as you can.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2004
Tue, 06-01-2004 - 11:44am
I do value my marriage. The excitement that he added is beyond my wildest dreams---I'm not giving that up. Besides, that's what threesomes are for--spicing up my life.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2004
Tue, 06-01-2004 - 12:02pm
Yes, but the potential damage to your husband is not worth it, or should not be worth it. You are flirting with potentially causeing serious damage to your husbands feelings, over what?? A bigger penis, and some extra enjoyment??? Is that worth the damage it could cause??? I know if I was in his shoes, I would be destroyed by that. Being told that the man I shared my SO with was better than me??? Damn. That would just kill me.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2004
Tue, 06-01-2004 - 12:31pm
And therein lies the rub!

This is exactly why most people don't involve themselves with outsiders if they're in a good relationship.

Now you have three choices......act like the adult you are, and stay away from this man, or tell your husband he's not as good a lover...and you're moving on. The third choice is to sneak around behind your husband's back, and there goes the belief in an "open" marriage.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Tue, 06-01-2004 - 3:31pm

I agree with Jeep on this, get out of it now if you value your marriage.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2004
Tue, 06-01-2004 - 3:38pm
Thank you all of you for your concern. I'm not in love with him, I just like him. What am I suppose to hate or dislike those whom we choose to have sex with? Nah....and I haven't told my hubby because I don't want to hurt him. Comparing him would serve no purpose. If it were reversed, I wouldn't want to know. Being involved in a threesome comes with consequences, and we accept them. There's always the chance that the third-wheel will be better. My only problem is that sex with hubby seems trite compared to threesomes, particularly with Mr. Hotstuff!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2004
Tue, 06-01-2004 - 3:44pm
Then leave your husband. It does not seem you value him at all anymore. This is the whole reason most people should not get into threesomes. because one of them almost always gets left behind unless the relationship is strong enought to support it. My SO had feelings for our third, but we squashed them quickly. "Mr. Hotstuff" shoul dhave more respect for your husband, his friend, than to get involved with you, but if he doesn't, I hope your husband finds out quickly, and you and him sit down for a heart to heart. Sounds like he needs to find someone better suited for him.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2004
Tue, 06-01-2004 - 3:47pm
You know, I have been in your shoes with my SO, only with us it was FFM. I never knew I was so sexually attracted to this girl until we had our threesome. I felt bad because I thought I enjoyed it so much more than he did. But I completely agree with Tish and Jeephead - it really is not worth throwing your marriage away over a bigger penis and some better moves. Maybe if you do show your SO the moves and how to make it better, sex with him won't be so...trite. I think that's the word you used. LOL And if sex with your hubby is no longer enjoyable with just him, maybe you need to reanaylze the whole threesome thing. Like you said, threesomes are supposed to spice things up but they aren't supposed to make you board with your current partner when someone else isn't there. Are you willing to have threesomes for the rest of your life just to make sex with your SO bearable? Just my 2 cents...

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2004
Tue, 06-01-2004 - 3:58pm
He did all of the moves my hubby does, only with his own style.

I'm not throwing my marriage away, we're simply adding to it, and I guess taking away what seems like a normal course of events. I know my hubby loves me too, we're very secure, but lets face it, sex with others is the ultimate! I love it so much that I want to do it more often because as I said, sex with just hubby and I alone, seems to dwarf in comparison.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2004
Tue, 06-01-2004 - 4:02pm
Leave him? Why do you assume that my relationship isn't secure enough? Believe me, it is. Mr. Hotstuff is just doing what I want him to do...have sex how is that being disrespectful to my hubby? Hubby already knows I want to do it again with Hotstuff, and he's asked for repeats with other women. For all I know he could feel similarly for either of them. That's the breaks. I accept it.

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