Why do guys put pressure
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Why do guys put pressure
| Wed, 06-02-2004 - 6:00pm |
me again. that jerk that i broke up with is spreading word around the crowd about how i wouldn't allow him to cum all over my face. how i didn't like to shave down there and how i wouldn't do anal(I told him that i might eventually). i'm so embarrassed; to think i thought i really liked this guy. the guys were ridiculing me into feeling as though I have to do these things for future men or else i'm not cool. i feel like I have to learn to like these things because all or most guys like them. did any of you ever feel such a push to do things from the crowd or else?

Oh hon - many, many women don't do those things - myself included.
Edited 6/2/2004 6:14 pm ET ET by luverboy2004
Find a new group of friends!
Edited to correct that to "immature" boys.
Edited 6/2/2004 7:14 pm ET ET by tiana_rose
I have news for you! If a guy really LIKES and RESPECTS you, he'll never ask you to do anything you're uncomfortable with. It's called respecting yourself, and not allowing yourself to be harassed or coerced into doing anything you don't want to do.
It's called "peer pressure"....the need to "conform". If you have self respect, and self esteem, you don't need to do what "everyone else" does, and trust me, most of them DON'T do it.
Chances are, if you'd done EVERYTHING he wanted you to do, you would have broken up anyway, and he'd still have had nasty things to say about you. It's because HE has a problem.
If the subject comes up again.....tell these "guys" to mind their own business.....or you could always counter with your own nasty remarks.....Like, he's got a TEEEENY....nah, just kidding. Take the high road, and don't let the jerk or his friends get to you.
No, you don't have to do any of those things for future men or for anyone.
You need to TALK to a prospective sexual partner and explain your sexual boundaries. What happens in the bedroom stays in the bedroom. The guy you wrote about wanted you for ONLY his gratification.
In all my dating years, I have NEVER talked about what happens between me and the woman I am/was with. Mac
Ultimately, it's YOU who has to be able to face yourself in the mirror everyday, so who cares what other people think?
And BTW, start practicing the phrase "none of your damn business" so that you'll be prepared when someone asks you what you plan to do with your new lover!
There IS such a thing as TOO much information.
Edited 6/3/2004 12:30 pm ET ET by katmandoo2001
And the one previous poster was right -- this guy was a jerk and you were going to break up any way. Would you rather have him saying "I broke up with her because she wouldn't let me do degrading things to her" or would you rather have him brag to his friends, "Yeah, I used that slut, I came on her face and banged her in the ass?"
I clearly think his current comments are the better of the two. And chances are, his friends RESPECT you for your decision even if they have to act macho and tease you.
With the right, caring guy, you may find you enjoy some of these acts -- but first find the right guy. Then explore the boundaries.