He didn't cum...
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He didn't cum...
| Thu, 06-03-2004 - 5:39pm |
This is a first for me...I had sex last night with this guy I have been dating for a few months and everything was great but this morning when we had sex, he didn't cum. That's never happened before. Not sure if it was because of him or me. I felt like I didn't do something right,it was good just like the other times but he didn't cum. Has that happened to you? Can you explain to me why didn't he cum??

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And just as women may not orgasm right away with a new partner, until they feel comfortable about asking for what they need, men are the same.
Anxiety, nerves and distraction are likely the culprit in this case BUT it's not up to you to do anything about it. Let him handle it until he asks for your help.
I wouldn't bring it up unless it seems to happen every time. Then, you might ask what he likes or what you can do to make sex more enjoyable for him BUT the odds are, he'll say that he is happy. Time usually takes care of the problem though.
The only thing is this wasn't the first time we had sex so it wasn't nerves for him. We have had sex for the past couple of months but this is the first time he didn't cum that's why I was surprised and confused.
Thanks!
Thanks for your help, I feel so much better! :)
But guess what, when he DOES finish okay, it has nothing to do with you, or what you did or didn't do for him, and when he "fails".......it ALSO has nothing to do with you. Please understand that all of this is under HIS control, and has nothing to do with you, or how he feels about you. The same goes for erections. All men have occasional problems with that, too....so the first time it happens with you, don't freak out, and don't start blaming yourself.....it's human nature, it happens.
Indeed you should not jump to conclusions that reflect on your adequacy as a lover. You should consider, although I know it may be hard to believe, that orgasm for a man is not necessarily the only reason for lovemaking.
The explanation may be a bit complicated, but I'll try. My current g/f has expressed the same insecurity as you decribe when I don't have an orgasm. There are a mulitude of reasons why I may not. I don't think, at least for me it has anything to do with the frequency of sex. More often than not, it is simply that I am so into her (accidental pun) that I'm just not thinking about my orgasm. And she gets worn out from her orgasms and asks to stop. Other times I get so hot and sweaty,.....I have to stop and cool off.
Sometimes I will orgasm in seconds,...sometimes minutes, sometimes hours,.....and sometimes not at all. Does this sound familiar? Most women I have known are much
the same.
And to be honest, I must admit that I am a bit insecure if my partner is having difficulty with her orgasm. That in itself is enough to restrain mine.
I guess my point is that lovemaking should be just that. Making love. If your guy doesn't cum,.....kiss him,...wrap yourself around him and relax. He will be back.
My warm regards,........John
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