holding back

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
holding back
3
Fri, 06-04-2004 - 3:16pm
i've been dating this guy for about a month now- we have been very attracted to each other and when we are together we spend hours kissing, talking and fondling . we have have not had intercourse yet.

we have had oral and manual sex-

the problem is will not allow himself to ejaculate-

he pulls me away as he gets close-

he says he cannot fully open up yet- but he will soon he says- and he is trying hard-

he says that he orgasms through masterbation- i have not seen this-

i really care for this guy and don't understand how or why this could be- i also feel i little disturbed by this-

any comments or insight ?
Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: als8384
Fri, 06-04-2004 - 3:30pm
It's only been a month and he may have been using masturbation as his sole means of release for quite some time. It's not unusual for people to train themselves to respond to only one type of stimulation and/or to feel uncomfortable about being so vunerable with a partner. For a while.

Time and experience with one another will usually take care of this problem though. Trust him to handle it and if he doesn't feel more comfortable with time, talk about it.

The best thing you can do right now is not to pressure him in any way, and let him deal with it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
In reply to: als8384
Fri, 06-04-2004 - 3:37pm
thanks- i feel better
Avatar for gigi_1000
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: als8384
Sun, 06-06-2004 - 12:05pm
As a man, I can not understand why he would want to stop just before ejaculation. I takes a lot of self control to accomplish that, and for what reason!! If this practice becomes a habitual thing for him, he will develop a problem that will be difficult to solve. Try to talk him into letting nature take its normal course. Good luck.