can't find my gspot!

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Registered: 05-06-2003
can't find my gspot!
6
Wed, 06-09-2004 - 12:09pm
My boyfriend and I are getting really frustrated because we can't find my gspot. We've tried all the cool gspot vibrators and I'm a gymnast so we've done all the latest and greatest positions which are supposed to hit the "spot" but nothing works. Is there some way I don't have one. I can reach clitoral orgasm just fine. Also, how is it that I can have an orgasm while doing stomach crunches? ANY words of wisdom - I'm getting really discouraged! Thanks!
Avatar for katmandoo2001
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Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 06-09-2004 - 3:35pm
Well, I can tell you that many dr.s and medical researchers still disagree about whether the g-spot truly exists or whether it's only a phenomenon in some women. BUT, I think more importantly, you and your BF are becoming too focused on one aspect of sex.

MOST women discover their g-spot quite by accident and in the process of normal sexual play. Don't forget what sex is supposed to be about, fun, pleasure and sharing intimacy. Take the focus OFF this one aspect of sex and you'll probably figure it out like everyone else does, while you're having great sex.

One thing I know for sure, you can't FORCE your body to react the way you think it should. If you have a sensitive and responsive g-spot, it shouldn't take that much effort to find it.

Do you orgasm with clitoral stimulation? If so, then try continuing that through intercourse and you're more likely to orgasm.

And as far as the crunch question...if you're like me, I keep my legs together when I'm doing them so it could be that you are pressing your vulva between them and stimulating your clitoris. I've never orgasmed while doing them, but I know many women masturbate the same way.




Edited 6/9/2004 3:49 pm ET ET by katmandoo2001

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Registered: 05-06-2003
Wed, 06-09-2004 - 3:49pm
Great - thank you for your words of wisdom!

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Registered: 05-27-2004
Thu, 06-10-2004 - 9:15am
I agree with Katmandoo...."My boyfriend and I are getting really frustrated" and "I'm getting really discouraged" says something very important. It says that you're focusing on something so much that you've lost the ability to enjoy sex.

There are women who've never had an orgasm from any source....does that mean they should just stop having sex? Or does that mean they should be frustrated and discouraged? Of course not. It means they should concentrate on what's important....the amazing pleasure of being intimate, and having a loving relationship.

Your "g" spot is there....and someday, when you least expect it, you might find it. Until then, pay attention to what IS happening, not what's NOT happening...otherwise, you might just as well become celibate.

FYI, the "g" spot isn't a lump, or a bump, like your clitoris, or your nipples....it's just an "area" of the vagina....more or less directly behind your clitoris. Just as some women's nipples aren't very sensitive, maybe your "g" spot isn't very sensitive. So, the women with unsensitive nipples don't concentrate on that, they forego that for other pleasures. The same is true for the "g" spot. If you find it, wonderful. If not, concentrate on what you CAN do, and what DOES give you pleasure.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2004
Fri, 06-11-2004 - 3:24pm
In the book i am currently reading, "The Big O," it actually says that only like 70% of women seem to have a G-spot anyway. It said that what it was is seemingly like a spot about the length of 2/3 of your middle finger up the vagina on the upper wall, and that spot would be more noticeable when you are more aroused and there is blood flow there. they say it starts out being the size of a dime and expands to quarter-size when aroused. It also talks about how the G-spot was something invented by this german guy whose last name started with a "g", and that it was a fad recently and women are obsessed about finding it.

So I guess I will echo what others have said - first of all it's not the most important thing to sex. Also, there is still a chance you don't have one or that it does not produce strong sensations, enough to help you be aroused. I think it's a fun thing to try, but if you don't find it, don't think it's a terrible thing. There's lots of other stuff you can do.

Sandra

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Registered: 04-23-2004
Sun, 06-13-2004 - 9:30pm
I agree with the others, there is no reason to get discouraged.

bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

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Registered: 05-14-2003
Mon, 06-14-2004 - 1:00am
I have to agree with both Kat and Greenteagbag. It is believed (FE is still somewhat contreversial but not as much as in the early 80's when the first info FE was coming out) that there are up to thirty or more tiny glands similar to a man's prostate gland, which produce an alkline fluid that is also similar to the fluid produced by the man's prostate gland. This tissue is spongy and erectile, and it is usually referred to as the urethral sponge (or G-spot). Additionally, I wanted to make sure that women (and men too) know that the clitoris isn't a simple bodily organ. It is rather complex (more so than most anatomy textooks, etc lead you to believe) with a shaft that curls and extends upward behind the urethra sponge, and the clitoris is part of an even more complex sytem of glands, tissues, muscles and ligaments. According to Violet Blue, Author of The Ultimate Guide to Cunnilingus -- How to go down on a woman and give her exquisite pleasure,

"The area of the clitoris is far larger than described in conventional anatomy texts and most sex guides. The external tip, or the glans, is really the tip of the iceberg --and if you know icebergs, they're like upside-down pyramids, and underestimating one can sink your ship. The glans begins at one of end of the shaft and continues under the surface to where the other end connects to the suspensory ligament at the pubic mound. The shaft, like the glans, is very sensitive and responds pleasurably to stimulation. At the shaft'sconnection to the suspensory ligament, the clitoris spans out underneath the vulva alongside the vaginal opening in a wishbone shape (insert> beneath urethral sponge), forming two legs, or crura, whose underground real estate goes all the way back forty of the perineum."

~Krissy