Touching me in the night

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2004
Touching me in the night
23
Thu, 06-10-2004 - 11:07am
Well...I woke up the other night and found my husband groping my body while I was sleeping...I was so freaked out about it that I just pretended to be asleep. The next morning I woke up and realized how disgusted I was about the whole thing. I talked to him about it and he denyed the whole thing and still does. I have caught him doing this before and I told him to never do it again. I guess he doesn't listen. Either way I am really freaked out about it...I feel like I can't even go to sleep near him...is this a normal guy thing and am i just making to much of it, or is it just a really wierd thing for him to be doing.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2004
Thu, 06-10-2004 - 11:23am
If he denies it, maybe he really doesn't know that he is doing it. Since JT and I moved in together, I have found out so many things I say and do in my sleep and don't even realize it or have no recollection about it happening when he brings it to my attention in the morning. LOL Apparently the other morning, after the alarm went off for JT (he has to be at work earlier than I do), I grabbed his arm and pulled him on top of me and said "You're not going to work today, you're staying in bed with me all day." He said he got up after a few minutes, enough time for me to "go back to sleep" (I don't think I ever really woke up) and then went about his morning as normal. Maybe this is the case with you and your husband. If not, I would really let him know to knock that sh*t off and leave you alone when you're sleeping! JT does like to cop a feel when we are spooning but if he were to roll over and start groping me in the middle of the night, I would probably tell him to get the f*ck off me! LOL I get really grumpy and mean when I am tired and will cuss him out so fast. It's funny to me because I normally see myself pretty mild mannered and really don't cuss like that a whole lot. But for the most part, JT knows better and leaves me alone when I am sleeping - I think your husband needs to do the same. Again, only if he isn't doing it in his sleep which could be very possible! JMO...
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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2004
Thu, 06-10-2004 - 11:27am
Well at least you made me laugh about the situation. :) I know that he was awake for sure. I just didn't even know what to do at the time! I was in like a state of shock...I think I'll do what you suggested and just start cussing him out....I made him sleep in the spare room last night :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2003
Thu, 06-10-2004 - 11:33am
Dear Poster,

It may be that he doesn't know that he's doing it. I'm not really sure why you didn't call him on it when it was happening...then there is no question. Also interesting that you described yourself as "disgusted", that is a pretty intense word. You should investigate what it was about your husband touching your body that was disgusting. Seems pretty normal to me. Might be something there for you.

In the future, confront him when it happens...could even be that you were dreaming it and not him (LOL).

Peace.

Scott.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2004
Thu, 06-10-2004 - 11:48am
LOL, you made me laugh at myself. Man o man, if only I could have time enough to tell you of all the crazy things I do when I am asleep. Anyways, I don't kow that making him sleep in the other room is the answer here but just tell him to knock it off. I hate being touched when I am tired and trying to sleep. Like I said, I get EXTREMELY grumpy and JT knows better than to touch me. Maybe you just need to better communicate this to your husband. It's too bad that he is awake when he is doing this and denies it when you confront him about it AND he continues to do it! I mean, I could maybe see him denying it at first because he was busted and may not want to admit to it for whatever reason, but to continue on afterwards? I'd just sit him down in a calm, relaxed mood and talk to him about it openly. Get it all out there but in a way that he won't feel intimidated by your anger or what have you and close up and not talk. I guess, not to sure how to approach that without him feeling bashful or reluctant to talk about it. Just a thought.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2004
Thu, 06-10-2004 - 12:23pm
I am with Scott in that I am surprised you were disgusted. Annoyed to be woken up I could understand LOL, but disgusted? I have woken up to DH having sex with me rofl. What disgusts you about it? I think you should call him on it next time, because you said you have clearly told him you don't want him doing that again.

Leticia

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2004
Thu, 06-10-2004 - 1:01pm
I don't know what the problem is here personally. I mean, doesn't it feel good and don't you start getting into it together? Why pretend to be asleep? He was probably hoping you'd wake up a little bit to have some fun! Sounds like you didn't want to so you pretended to still be asleep. I don't think it's disgusting AT ALL and I have a hard time wondering why you do? I think a lot of men and women enjoy middle of the night sex.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2004
Thu, 06-10-2004 - 1:13pm
Sounds like you don't like having surprise sex with your SO. Gosh, haven't you touched him in the middle of the night or rubbed up against him in the middle of the night accidently and been turned on, wake him up with a BJ and go for it? He was obviously trying to be with you. You shouldn't punish him for that! Sounds like a normal man to me.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2004
Thu, 06-10-2004 - 1:15pm
Planned sex gets boring to a lot of men. Spontaneous surprises help keep the magic!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Thu, 06-10-2004 - 2:18pm

I don't understand why you were so freaked or disgusted about it.


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Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 06-10-2004 - 2:30pm
Do you trust your DH? How is your relationship overall? Are you angry with him for some reason? It seems that your response is a little harsh for the situation, IMO. And why wouldn't you SAY something the 1st time when you woke up to find him doing it?

Maybe he doesn't remember doing it because he was asleep, too. You've heard of sleepwalking, haven't you? Well, maybe he sleepGROPES! It's possible that he's dreaming of touching you and that he begins doing it without realizing it.

Either way, I don't think it's something to worry or obsess about since he IS your DH, after all, not a stranger on a bus.

If you are offended because you feel it's a breach of trust or something, tell him to wake you up if he's in the mood for sex.

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