I want it more than my man does

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2004
I want it more than my man does
3
Thu, 06-10-2004 - 11:40am
I love having sex with my fiance and we have been together for two years now, living together for 6 months. The sex is terrific when we do it but I would love to do it a little bit more often than we do. He is happy to do it once or twice a week, I would rather 3 or 4 times a week. I know that he is tired from his job and driving back and forth to home/work and I understand that. I work M-F and have weekends off, he has Thursdays and Saturdays off. He watches porn videos on his Thursdays and he wont watch them with me even though I would love to. I am sure that he masturbates to them on Thursdays therefore he is not in the mood to do it with me that night so therefore he is satisfied but I am horny. He says that if we do it more often it can become less special. I have talked to him and he knows how I feel and I understand how he feels but I still want it more often with him. Should I just buy like a vibrator/dildo and satisfy myself (even though it is not nearly as good as it is with him)? ANy suggestions??
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2004
Thu, 06-10-2004 - 11:57am
I think you answered your own question. Buy a toy for yourself and although no, it will not be as good as him, you are still getting out your sexual frustrations since he is too tired. But that, imo,is not fair that he watches porn all day Thursday and doesn't have any left for you. Can you say SELFISH?!?! And if he works Sunday, get some movies for yourself and along with your new toy, go to town! If he can do it, why can't you? As for him not wanting to watch movies with you, some guys like keeping that aspect as private as possible. Although they know we know they do it, they still may not want to share that with us. Let him have his day and you can have yours. :) Good luck and have fun!
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Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 06-10-2004 - 12:11pm
Welcome to the club! I've always had a higher sex drive than my DH and we've been married forever so a compromise can and should be found. It's really unavoidable since MOST couples have differing libidos.

IF you feel neglected because he's masturbating and consequently, not in the mood for sex with you, then you need to ask him to make more effort to satisfy your needs. Each partner needs to make the other THE priority in the relationship or resentment will grow. So, obviously, he needs to cut back on the porn and masturbation and YOU need to be willing to take care of yourself when necessary. And yes, I would recommend that you buy a vibrator to make your solo experience more enjoyable and satisfying.

IF you both are willing to compromise and give a little, you'll be sending a powerful message to each other...."YOU are important to me." IF one expects to run the whole show and make all the decisions concerning frequency, there will be conflict and the resulting bad feelings. Good luck.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2003
Thu, 06-10-2004 - 12:13pm
Dear OP,

Have to agree with sweetbutterfly. Get yourself a toy and have some fun. Masturbation is not like lovemaking. Some guys just need that private time to release some stress etc. For some it is intensely personal. So do what he does and just enjoy it. Eventually he may want to watch porn with you, but for now it is probably just an opportunity to be alone.

Peace.

Scott.