3Some
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| Thu, 06-10-2004 - 10:57pm |
A few years ago my husband brought up the idea of 3some with another girl. Although I was intrigued by the idea of it, I was hesitant and very nervous. Last year for Christmas I figured..WHY NOT. My husband never had any interest to have sex with these girls, he was just interested in sensual and erotic experience of the 3some (kissing, touching, etc...) I felt very comfortable and at ease and so we began exploring our options.
We started out by going to Strip Clubs and he would buy a lap dance for me. One thing led to another and we ended up in a private room with a stripper, making out. The following week we had an amazing experience with an escort.
As the months went by, this suddenly became the sexual fantacy that can now be fullfilled whenenever we wish. Unfortunatley, I was starting to feel very uncomfortable with the idea. My husband was very absorbed in it and he was trying to find a girl for us. He also asked me to talk these girls and see if we would get along. This was so uncomfortable for me.
For some strange reason I was begining to feel less sure of myself and not at all confident. Today, my husband told me that he would like to have a 3some again and I don't know what to do. I am not sure if this is good for a marriage. If anyone has similiar experiences that they can share, I would greatly appreciate it.

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Have to agree with Sweetbutterfly. Your instincts are right. Your husband is just caught up in the excitement of the whole thing. It's usually best to indulge this type of fantasy only in the realm of the imagination. You can role play etc., but living the fantasy can be dangerous to the relationship...Especially when one of you is reluctant...that is a red flag and should not be ignored.
Good luck.
Scott.
>>The following week we had an amazing experience with an escort.<<
What happened to change your mind? Is the hubby getting carried away with it? Is he making you feel less attractive, less sexy? less adequate? Are you beginning to feel uncomfortable with your feelings over it? What happened?
My SO and I have done a MFM, and while it did not go perfectly, it still left us wanting more. She is excited about doing the MFM again, and I am looking forward to doing a FMF. She is apprehensive over bringing a woman in, and so I am talking to her, and trying to figure out where the issue is. If she is going to be happy about another guy, then she needs to at least try another female, but at this point she is unwilling, so there will not be any more threesomes for us at all, and that got her moving. She is thinkig about the FMF more now, and trying to figure her own issues with it out.
If it was fun to you, and you enjoyed the experience, then let go, and have fun. There is no need to over think these things, and that is where to many people go wrong. If you over analyze everything then it will only cause tension and problems. Just my two cents, but if you enjoy it, go for it. Have you ever done a MFM, and if not talk to your hubby about it. If he says NO WAY, then I would cut him off too. But if he allows it, then go for it and have two men. It would be a blast for you, that is for sure, and he may get a better idea about what you go through with the FMF.
The situation your husband wants to pursue now is to have you find a girl that you "get along with" as if this will become your friend and this will be a regular thing. Is that right? Maybe that is the difference and what is bothering you?
My husband has made me feel beautiful and important and I have never felt that after the 3some he would suddenly change his mind about me. If anything, this brough us together so much closer and we have been very open and comfortable with one another. I guess, I started overanalyzing it and instead of talking to him about it, I kept it all to myself. On Saturday we spoke and both decided that, the night we had the 3some was absolutley amazing and there is nothing wrong with doing it again. As I said earlier, this was not about the 3rd person it was always about us.
If your wife enjoyed the MFM, I would defintley recommend doing the FMF. At first, I was trying to figure out if this I would be considered bi or a lesbian and then I realized that I just enjoyed a woman's body and all the labels were insignificant. This was one of the things that I had to resolve in my head. Also, she should feel confident and know that you love her and this is only sex. The other thing that I would recommend is finding a woman that is interested in a 3some w/out being emotionaly attached to the two of you (keep it fantasy).
Again, thanks for the cool reply.!!! Defintley made me feel better.
I spoke with my husband about all this on Saturday and we decided that if we are to have a 3some again, we should keep it a fantasy with no attachment to the person.
Edited 6/15/2004 2:35 pm ET ET by sweetbutterfly36
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