Virgin-about to have sex-soon-help!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2004
Virgin-about to have sex-soon-help!
11
Sun, 06-13-2004 - 7:28pm
Hello,

I am currently a virgin, and my bf and i will be having sex soon, im all ready on the shot and we will be using condoms, so i dont need "the sex talk". During foreplay i get all of the attention and he doesn't really let me or give me the chance to give back. I have offered before to give him a bj or a hj but he says no, its ok and brings his attention back to me (trust me im NOT complaining!)... I want to be good for him when we have sex, only i dont know how to do that. He's given me alot up to this point and when we have sex i really want him to be happy..... any hints, in this area or any other.. maybe even to make it better for me... please help a soon to be x-virgin,!!!!!!! thanks... you can e-mail me at traciwarnock@hotmail.com

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Sun, 06-13-2004 - 8:02pm

The only hints I can offer is......make sure you are


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2004
Sun, 06-13-2004 - 8:13pm
I think my bf denies my offers because he is a big guy.. overwieght.. i dont know how much i know that he's 6'5" and wears a 2x shirt.... which obviously doesn't bug me ... but i think thats why.. i have tried complementing him but that doesn't seem to help any

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Sun, 06-13-2004 - 8:36pm

If he is self-conscious of his weight, complimenting him and encouraging him that you love him just how he is, is good, but if it is an issue with him, that is something he has to deal with when he is ready to deal with it.


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2004
Sun, 06-13-2004 - 11:06pm
I answered this post on the other board, but now that I've seen your post above.....I'm wondering if this is something that you're pushing, and he's NOT ready for. Whether it's his size, or possibly just the fact that he doesn't want to have sex yet. You said above that you have to initiate all the time, and that even then.....he'll stop in the middle to have a conversation? If a guy wants to have sex, he's NOT going to stop for a conversation, and nothing will distract him from what he's doing. I think you need to back off, and let him proceed at his own speed.

I think you need to back off, stay out of his room.....and let HIM do the initiating, IF and when he wants to.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2004
Sun, 06-13-2004 - 11:56pm
I think that some people have gotten the wrong Idea... i dont ALWAYS initiate stuff, and im not the one opening the door to his room.... he has told me before that he wants me ... as in sex and i said not yet .... and he's respected that.... hes been very open about wanting sex... he's been open about wanting me to be sure to be ready ... thus the forplay and him not receiving.. and that he can wait no matter how long it takes... so i dont think im pushing because he would say so....we've tried once before to have sex, and i was nervous but pretty sure i was ready, and he was nervous about putting on a condom and the first one broke so he was kinda under pressure, so i just layed there and leave him alone because he admitted it was hard to do while someone was with him.... so i respected that and he asked me to roll over i did.... we ended up not having sex but for the first time in my life i experienced multiple orgasms..which i told him before he started.. HE STARTED.. that he didn't have to do anything.... he ignored that to say the least.... so theres that... anyways...hope to hear more suggestions on how to turn him on!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2003
Mon, 06-14-2004 - 3:21am

>>hope to hear more suggestions on how to turn him on! <<


MMM....not an easy one.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Mon, 06-14-2004 - 7:41am

Here you are saying you don't always start things and that he has told you he wants sex, but in your other post, you said you are always the one to initiate and he doesn't make it clear what he wants.


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2004
Mon, 06-14-2004 - 5:06pm
i have talked to him before about not doing anything he doesn't want to and its still the same and he doesn't lie... he cant..lol... hes poor at it... and when he does start stuff he seems pretty excited sooooo i dont know.... i just want to know guys sensitive spots

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Mon, 06-14-2004 - 5:36pm
If you want to know what "his" hot spots are, you are going to have to ask him.

bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2004
Mon, 06-14-2004 - 6:52pm
whats a good semi-serious way to ask him? I am not that good with talking about stuff like that... i can talk about doing or not doing stuff... like when we started going further, i asked him if he wanted to, and he said he's been wanting to try it and see if i objected.... lol he doesn't talk much, and i guess that could be the problem.. is he never asks for stuff for him.... he'd rather go to my fav. resturant than his... he'd rather do what i want to do (in general)... im not sure he actually has a preference.. he has an... almost careless attitude about some stuff, its fun but i definatly feel guilty so i will say lets go to ...his fav resturant... or his fav movie in theaters... if i say lets do it he's happy to go.. but he doesn't mention he actually wants to eat there or see certain movies.... another question is.... how do i tell him that i wouldn't mind or want to do things for him hj/bj, or anything... im not good at talking about stuff like that.. i guess im kinda old fashioned and not used to some of the "dirty talk".. i have trouble saying "i want you", even though i feel like i could scream it from the eiffle tower.... and yes i know thats my fault.... any suggestions???? because i know that he is enjoying making out and pleasing me... i can fell him through his pants, and he doesn't exactly stay cool, and calm either.... so maybe i should be asking what can i do myself.. not to him... to seem more inviting than i am... as i think about it, I could be the problem..??? im not that attractive, im about 5'11 and weigh around 165.. so not exactly skinny, but i dont think that matters to him, or at least it doesn't seem to...i dont know.... thanks for reading my thoughts... help with any and all of my questions would be good... how do you make a heavy girl appear to be sexy? anyways thanks.... love the polls so far!

Pages