Funny Stories about Sex

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2004
Funny Stories about Sex
7
Sun, 06-13-2004 - 7:37pm
I thought I would start a discussion on funny stories about things that have happened during sex!

Jenn

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Sun, 06-13-2004 - 8:14pm

After all our years together, I have quite a few.


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-14-2003
Sun, 06-13-2004 - 9:05pm
I do a lot of running and leg cramps come with the hobbby.

One night after a long session, she was on top and I was very close to cumming. Suddenly, my leg started to cramp. It was very painful. I yelled and screamed for quite some time. DW kept pumping away.

Finally, I threw her off and massaged my cramped calf. When she realized what had happened, we both laughed our heads off.

She thought I was in ecstacy while I really was in total pain.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Sun, 06-13-2004 - 9:15pm
Oh those leg cramps, know the feeling.

bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2004
Mon, 06-14-2004 - 2:51pm
This happened after sex, but my ex wife and I were teenagers, and she got up to go get a towel, well, no sooner than her big toe hit the floor an earthquake shook the house. Ever see those cartoons where the character jumps off the diving board, touches the water and is right back up on the board. Well, her foot bearly hit the ground before she was straddling me holding on for dear life as the ground shook beneath us. We joked for years about our "Earth moving sex life". LOL Another time we were in a camper on I-5 headed for Sacramento. We got busy in the camper. A few minutes after we had started thrusting her father started banging on the roof of the truck. Apparently we were shaking the entire camper enough for people to notice. LOL Her mom and dad were cool about it, and his mom ended up putting her head into her father lap. Making everyone think it was her. LOL

The most embarassing was when My ex wife's mother told her how hot it made her when she heard us one night that she woke up the father and got busy with him. GROSSS!!!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 06-14-2004 - 3:09pm
My story is mostly funny because of our sheer determination and desperation. My SO and I had been having sex a lot at my place (since he still lived with his parents, it was really hard to do anything at his place). My bed got really squeaky and it was really annoying. It got so bad that my roommate started to complain that she could hear my bed squeaking across the apartment. So, in an act of desperation, we went to Walmart and purchased an air mattress. I made him blow it up and then we stuck it under my bed so we could use it later that night.

Well, when the time came and we were all 'gung ho' if you know what I mean, I went to grab the air mattress out from under my bed. It caught on a screw under my bed and ripped a hole in it. We were so upset. We didn't want to have sex on the hard floor, so we had sex on the deflating air mattress, while trying to cover up the hole with our hands. It didn't seem so funny at the time, but now we laugh about it and our incredible determination to have less squeaky sex!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2004
Mon, 06-14-2004 - 4:02pm
That is such a cute post! I think its adorable and quite funny. Dogs and cats can be very humourous in that they will just sit there and stare at you when you're having sex. It feels intrusive a bit, like they know what you are doing, lol.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2004
Mon, 06-14-2004 - 4:59pm
I have been giving this one some thought and this is the best one that I can come up with. The first weekend that JT and I had in our new place was going to be great. We were finally out on our own and were in such a rush to be able to sleep in the same bed, we moved over only the necessites - bed, clothes and bathroom stuff - until the weekend and we could really get things in the apartment. Well, we have a fireplace in our apt and I thought it would be great to fall asleep in front of the fire so we pulled the matress out of the bedroom and set it on the floor in the living room in front of the fire. We were supposed to be picked up by his dad around 10, then go get a U-Haul truck and go from there. We had already given his parents a copy of the key in case during the move the door was locked and we weren't there but on a trip to his house or the storage area, the other people helping (his dad, brother and friends) could still get in. Well, I woke up around 8 and couldn't go back to sleep so I woke JT up and we started going at it. Next thing I know I heard a key in the lock. I jumped up, grabbed my robe (I usually sleep in the nude and always have a robe handy just in case) and ran into the bathroom. JT ran into the bedroom and his dad walked in. He started cooking us breakfast!! I quickly hopped into the shower, since I was already in there and when I was finished getting ready I had a nice breakfast to eat. Then, in the middle of me taking a long sip of coffee, his dad asked how thick I thought the walls were. I looked at JT and he hung his head hiding his laugher. Appartenly he had heard me outside on the second floor landing and we lived on the third. Horrified I screamed at him asking why he came in then if he heard me and he said thought it was just a neighbor, he didn't think I was the type of person to get so vocal. Needless to say, I didn't look him in the eyes for the rest of the day. How humiliating!! Not as great as the dog story but this is the best one I've got. :)
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