Is okay to have causal sex ?(M)
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Is okay to have causal sex ?(M)
| Mon, 06-14-2004 - 1:27pm |
With a guy whom you've know all your life?
What if he has a girlfriend? Is it okay then?
Would it make u a slut if u have sex with a
best guy friend if u both want it? Do u pursue
it if he and u both want it bad enough? Will
it ruin a friendship? Or bring u closer to him?
What do u all think?

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I think the same thing applies with a guy you have known your whole life and is your best friend. I think it quite possibley could and will ruin your friendship, especially if you or him find another person. If it does bring you closer to him, it would only be for a little while and then jealousy will kick in. JMO...
Confusing things with sex can ruin a friendship, especially if you're encouraging him to cheat on his GF. So, if you're hoping that you'll get a BF out of this, I wouldn't count on it. IF he cheats WITH you, then he'll also cheat ON you!
Personally, I don't think it's ever a good idea.
He and I have never dated. We've just been really good
friends. The subject of dating each other has come up.
He says friends like we are will eventually end up dating.
We share everything and can talk about everything. I just
don't know what to think. B/c I've heard he has a cheating
history. So, I don't know if I want to get involved with
him at all. But, I care about him alot.
On a different subject. If I was to date someone other than him.
And someone who seems completely nice. how do I tell them about
my shady dating history? And how soon would i tell them. I lost
my virginity to a man who was bisexual. It's something I'm not
proud of. But, I can't change my past. And I'm afraid that I
won't find anybody good because of that.
I'm just now back into the dating game. I've broken up with
my boyfriend of a year. Who was a complete loser and a jerk.
And I'm scared of getting hurt again. Should I wait awhile
before I jump into a new relationship? It's been over for
about a month or so. But, we tried to be friend's and even
that didn't work out. Help. I'm so emotionally confused I
don't know what to think? . Any advice on someone who's
dating life is so complicated????
You say he has a history of cheating.....well, that's ok, because in a FWB situation, you can both have sex with anyone you want to.......there is no committment for FWB's. So, technically, he can't "cheat" on you. Either you don't understand what FWB is, or you think that he'll fall for you because you sleep with him. NOT!
As for future partners.....you don't have to divulge ANYTHING to anyone. If someone ASKS you about your history, all you need to tell them is that you're not a virgin, and you've had a few partners. Don't give numbers, don't give details. Most guys don't WANT to know details, and a guy who DOES want to know them is a masochist, and will throw it in your face at every chance. If you get to know someone VERY well, and there is some kind of abuse in your past, you need to share that, but again, you don't have to give anyone your history, detail by detail, bad relationship by bad relationship. Whatever you did in your past has no bearing on today, except for the way it influenced you to become what you are now. It's no one's business but your own.
Why would you even want to remain friends with someone who treated you badly? I hope you cut your losses and have moved on completely.
And frankly, this other friend in question sounds like another "winner" you don't need in your life. You know his history so you can do the math. And the odds AREN'T in your favor!
I would suggest that you take some time off from men, and spend it on YOURSELF. Maybe you can figure out what kind of man YOU need, not what kind of man needs YOU. And when that new man DOES come along, if he's not willing to accept you....."the good, the bad and the ugly" parts of you, then he's not the right guy. But I will bet that he'll have his own "war stories" to share since most of us have baggage from the past.
Men are like buses though, so another, maybe more suitable, one will be along in a few minutes.
Good luck!
Edited 6/15/2004 2:23 am ET ET by katmandoo2001
Sure, why not?
What if he has a girlfriend? Is it okay then?
I don't think so on this one. He needs to break it off with her if he wants you. Even for just sex. Would you want your BF to sleep with another girl just for sex?
Would it make u a slut if u have sex with a best guy friend if u both want it?
Not at all.
Do u pursue it if he and u both want it bad enough? Will
it ruin a friendship? Or bring u closer to him?
It all depends witht he ruining a friendship thing. I say if it's gonna happen, it will. Don't force it. Or try to pursue it. Just let things happen naturally.
BUT....PLEASE USE A CONDOM!!!
Melissa
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