Is okay to have causal sex ?(M)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Is okay to have causal sex ?(M)
8
Mon, 06-14-2004 - 1:27pm


With a guy whom you've know all your life?

What if he has a girlfriend? Is it okay then?

Would it make u a slut if u have sex with a

best guy friend if u both want it? Do u pursue

it if he and u both want it bad enough? Will

it ruin a friendship? Or bring u closer to him?

What do u all think?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Mon, 06-14-2004 - 1:38pm


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2004
Mon, 06-14-2004 - 1:40pm
It all goes with the thing I said about friends with benefits...

<>

I think the same thing applies with a guy you have known your whole life and is your best friend. I think it quite possibley could and will ruin your friendship, especially if you or him find another person. If it does bring you closer to him, it would only be for a little while and then jealousy will kick in. JMO...

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Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 06-14-2004 - 4:26pm
Only you can decide if you want to have sex with a friend. BUT be aware that it usually doesn't turn out well and you can end up losing your friend altogether.

Confusing things with sex can ruin a friendship, especially if you're encouraging him to cheat on his GF. So, if you're hoping that you'll get a BF out of this, I wouldn't count on it. IF he cheats WITH you, then he'll also cheat ON you!

Personally, I don't think it's ever a good idea.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Mon, 06-14-2004 - 7:19pm


He and I have never dated. We've just been really good

friends. The subject of dating each other has come up.

He says friends like we are will eventually end up dating.

We share everything and can talk about everything. I just

don't know what to think. B/c I've heard he has a cheating

history. So, I don't know if I want to get involved with

him at all. But, I care about him alot.

On a different subject. If I was to date someone other than him.

And someone who seems completely nice. how do I tell them about

my shady dating history? And how soon would i tell them. I lost

my virginity to a man who was bisexual. It's something I'm not

proud of. But, I can't change my past. And I'm afraid that I

won't find anybody good because of that.

I'm just now back into the dating game. I've broken up with

my boyfriend of a year. Who was a complete loser and a jerk.

And I'm scared of getting hurt again. Should I wait awhile

before I jump into a new relationship? It's been over for

about a month or so. But, we tried to be friend's and even

that didn't work out. Help. I'm so emotionally confused I

don't know what to think? . Any advice on someone who's

dating life is so complicated????

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-14-2004
Mon, 06-14-2004 - 11:50pm
Speaking from experience on this I won't say it's a good thing nor a bad thing. If he is seeing someone then yes it would be wrong. Other than that it can have a bad effect on the friendship, this is a time to talk to him about it, is he only going to come back for sex afterward or are you able to still lead a normal friendship afterward. Are emotions going to come about and not be mutual? These are things to consider before doing the deed. A lot changes no matter what.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2004
Tue, 06-15-2004 - 12:13am
First of all, don't get sexually involved with this guy. He's got a girlfriend. If you were the girlfriend, how would YOU feel about him having sex with a "friend"? Second, you'll just be wasting your time, you won't "get" him just because you have sex with him.

You say he has a history of cheating.....well, that's ok, because in a FWB situation, you can both have sex with anyone you want to.......there is no committment for FWB's. So, technically, he can't "cheat" on you. Either you don't understand what FWB is, or you think that he'll fall for you because you sleep with him. NOT!

As for future partners.....you don't have to divulge ANYTHING to anyone. If someone ASKS you about your history, all you need to tell them is that you're not a virgin, and you've had a few partners. Don't give numbers, don't give details. Most guys don't WANT to know details, and a guy who DOES want to know them is a masochist, and will throw it in your face at every chance. If you get to know someone VERY well, and there is some kind of abuse in your past, you need to share that, but again, you don't have to give anyone your history, detail by detail, bad relationship by bad relationship. Whatever you did in your past has no bearing on today, except for the way it influenced you to become what you are now. It's no one's business but your own.

Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 06-15-2004 - 1:45am
Honey, it sounds like you're spending an awful lot of time and energy worrying about what other people think of you..including your "complete loser and jerk" ex-BF.

Why would you even want to remain friends with someone who treated you badly? I hope you cut your losses and have moved on completely.

And frankly, this other friend in question sounds like another "winner" you don't need in your life. You know his history so you can do the math. And the odds AREN'T in your favor!

I would suggest that you take some time off from men, and spend it on YOURSELF. Maybe you can figure out what kind of man YOU need, not what kind of man needs YOU. And when that new man DOES come along, if he's not willing to accept you....."the good, the bad and the ugly" parts of you, then he's not the right guy. But I will bet that he'll have his own "war stories" to share since most of us have baggage from the past.

Men are like buses though, so another, maybe more suitable, one will be along in a few minutes.

Good luck!






Edited 6/15/2004 2:23 am ET ET by katmandoo2001

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2003
Tue, 06-15-2004 - 10:03am
With a guy whom you've know all your life?

Sure, why not?

What if he has a girlfriend? Is it okay then?

I don't think so on this one. He needs to break it off with her if he wants you. Even for just sex. Would you want your BF to sleep with another girl just for sex?


Would it make u a slut if u have sex with a best guy friend if u both want it?

Not at all.

Do u pursue it if he and u both want it bad enough? Will

it ruin a friendship? Or bring u closer to him?

It all depends witht he ruining a friendship thing. I say if it's gonna happen, it will. Don't force it. Or try to pursue it. Just let things happen naturally.

BUT....PLEASE USE A CONDOM!!!

Melissa

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