Problem

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2004
Problem
9
Tue, 06-15-2004 - 2:51pm

*ezizabef*

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2004
In reply to: ezizabef
Tue, 06-15-2004 - 2:58pm
As A man, I must say,. looking a woman in the eyes while she is pleasing me orally makes the experience hotter, more intimate, and much more satifying. There is nothing slutty about it at all. Do you expect him to lay back, close his eyes and imagine?? When that happens don't you worry about what he is thinking about? Maybe it isn't you he is thinking about at that moment. So his keeping his eyes on you, is his way of keeping you on his thoughts, and watching every glorious moment of his girl, orally pleasing him, and all the sensations that go along with it. Never feel slutty when you are with your SO. Never. Every man on the planet IMHO wants a slut in the bedroom, and a woman on his arm outside. There is no shame in the way you feel. Just realize that men are visual creatures, and when we cannot see what is happening, we visualize it in our minds. There are times that the person we visualize is not the same one doing the deed. So, I prefer greatly being able to watch, and my SO loves for me to be able to watch, in a mirror, looking directly at her, or even watching from afar. It is very erotic to me.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2004
In reply to: ezizabef
Tue, 06-15-2004 - 4:04pm
I am the same way. I love watching and get a kick out of looking up into his eyes and seeing him watch my every move. It's one of the reasons I enjoy giving so much. Watching his face and seeing the pleasure I am providing for him. Try to think of it like that rather then you feeling slutty. Like Jeep said, there is absolutely nothing slutty about giving your SO what he deserves and letting him watch you is such a high for him. While he is feeling the amazing sensation you are giving him, he can look at this beautiful girl who he is having the pleasure of spending this intimate time with. Try seeing it like that and if you can, watch yourself and see if that makes a difference. Time will allow you to become more comfortable with him looking at you if you cannot look at yourself for whatever reason. Just ahve patience and the feelings should subside. Good luck!
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Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: ezizabef
Tue, 06-15-2004 - 4:19pm
I'm not so sure other men feel that way though. I've heard men describe it as "creepy-looking because she looks crosseyed" or "weird" because let's face it....you've got a mouthful, and you're looking up at an odd angle. I've seen other women doing it and to me, personally, it doesn't look sexy at all.

Try looking at yourself in the mirror with a large banana in your mouth, look up as if you're looking at your partner and then decide if it looks sexy or not. LOL! I prefer to keep my eyes closed myself.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2004
In reply to: ezizabef
Tue, 06-15-2004 - 4:30pm
I doubt there is anything you could do that hasn't been done in a porno, so why try avoiding it? Do what feels good. Do you really care what you look like, or is it really lack of confidence? I love looking into my DH eyes when I give oral, and he likes it too. Of course, I don't do it the whole time. That would be like having one of those paintings whose eyes look like they follow you all over the room LOL. You can start out by just glancing up now and then, and you will slowly gain more confidence. Eventually you will feel comfortable giving him erotic looks and showing him with expressions how much you enjoy pleasuring him.

Leticia

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2004
In reply to: ezizabef
Tue, 06-15-2004 - 4:36pm

*ezizabef*

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2004
In reply to: ezizabef
Tue, 06-15-2004 - 4:36pm
I think that's part of the turn on for a man - watching you look up at him with him in your mouth. You have to feel really comfortable though. How long have you been together? Could be you're just not at that comfy-cozy anything goes stage.

And personally, I think the women giving BJ's in porn movies look quite sexy and hot. I've learned quite a bit from some of those movies that I definitely use on my hubby.

Keeping your eyes closed is fine, but you're missing out on a little extra spice!


Edited 6/15/2004 4:37 pm ET ET by tiana_rose

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2004
In reply to: ezizabef
Tue, 06-15-2004 - 4:40pm

*ezizabef*

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2004
In reply to: ezizabef
Tue, 06-15-2004 - 4:46pm
I may be wrong, but could it be your upbringing? My dad was very uptight, and alot of my early inhibitions about sex stemmed from that. It was a couple of years into my marriage that I actually came into myself so to speak and realized that I could enjoy myself and my sexuality without guilt. I embraced my inner slut ;o) Perhaps your feeling about him watching you has to do with feelings brought about by your upbringing. Maybe you just need to decide that you'll do what you enjoy, you won't feel guilt for doing something you choose to do and enjoy.

Leticia

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2004
In reply to: ezizabef
Tue, 06-15-2004 - 5:03pm
Well then, that's that. If you don't feel comfortable, you don't. That's okay. A lot of women don't or won't even give their men BJ's! (That is really hard to believe for me), but everyone has their one thing(s) they don't like.

Do you ever look at each other when making love? You could start with that. Or maybe just find another activity to excite and entice him. Maybe a nice handjob with a a few quick glances his way to start?