more suceptable to cheating?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-29-2004
more suceptable to cheating?
7
Tue, 09-07-2004 - 1:34am
I just turned 18 years old and i was pretty young the first time I had sex. My boyfriend of 5 sraight years and i have lived together a little over a year and the past 8-9 months I have no desire to have sex, I actually completly lost my sex drive about a year ago but up until recently I'd still have sex. I know I'm young but I am already at the point where I feel like I'd preffer not to have sex. Other than this my boyfriend and I have a picture perfect relationship and I was just wondering if the fact that we are so young and already are to the point of hardly ever having sex does this mean somewhere in the future we will be more suceptable to cheating?
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Tue, 09-07-2004 - 7:27am

I would wonder more why you lost your sex drive and work to fix that.


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2004
Tue, 09-07-2004 - 9:20am
Your question should be "what happened to my libido". At 18, it's not "normal" to lose all interest in sex. As Tish mentioned, it could be due to various medications, or it could also be caused by problems in the relationship, outside of the bedroom. How is your b/f reacting to the fact that you're not interested in sex? The lack of sex says it's NOT a "picture perfect" relationship. A good relationship consists of a lot more than sex, and when there are problems in the relationship, quite often they come out in the bedroom.

Maybe the fact that you've been with this guy since you were 13, at which time you had NO idea what you wanted in a man, or in life has something to do with it. Maybe you're seeing that he's NOT what you want for the rest of your life.

Believe it or not, "cheating" quite often has nothing to do with sex. It has to do with the person looking for something that's missing in their relationship. Like affection (which doesn't mean sex), or common interests, or being able to "talk". Prostitutes say that many men don't even want sex from them, they want to TALK to them. But, at the same time, if a guy isn't getting sex, then he's likely to go looking elsewhere, particularly a young man who's got raging hormones.

Instead of worrying about who's susceptible to cheating, you'd be much better off trying to figure out what's gone wrong in your relationship, or with your libido, which could be a reflection of physical or emotional problems.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2003
Tue, 09-07-2004 - 3:01pm
How old is your boyfriend?

Robin

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 09-07-2004 - 5:51pm
I agree with greenteabag. Also, I think I remember some posting of your from a couple months/weeks ago with serious relationship problems but you haven't mentioned them here. I am going to go back and search through old posts.

Sara

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 09-07-2004 - 6:04pm
Yeah, okay I thought I remembered some other issues in the relationship.

discussion title: Don't guys always want it?

emoticon:

message #: 14989.1

from: collegedropout_girl

date: Jul-2 11:44 pm

replies: 8





You know how people always joke that if a guys turns sex down by saying he's "tired" or has to "work early" that for some reason he doesn't want to have sex with you- well, my bf does and I guess I just thought that even when they are sleeping if they have a chance to take it they will. My boyfriend is always with me, no un-accounted time or weird phone calls so I know he isn't cheating. but really, I'm just asking generally - are there times guys really are too tired- and what if they don't get it that often and turn you down- what does that mean.


discussion title: Oral Sex Is For "BAD" Girls

emoticon:

message #: 14954.1

from: collegedropout_girl

date: Jun-29 3:28 pm

replies: 11





I'm not new to sex- but I have only done oral a handful of times. Growing up in the inner city you are always told that only the "slutty" girls go down on guys. I don't believe that now and I know most people do oral (which still shocks me) but I can't shake the fact that it is a slutty thing to do. I am also afraid to do it to my bf because I am scared I'll do it worng and look funny. Anyway, how can I get over the fact that oral sex is normal.


<<<

Just my 2 cents

Sara>>>>>>>

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Tue, 09-07-2004 - 6:46pm

Hello Sara,


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2001
Tue, 09-07-2004 - 10:54pm
Yep. Private Eye Sara got it.

You guys need to have a good close look at your relationship because despite the lovely looking 'perfect relationship' there is something seriously missing in it. I think that Sara hit the nail on the head. You've been together for so long since you were so young that you have become 'friends' rather than 'lovers'. Maybe it's time to move on?