Can the vagina be smaller?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2004
Can the vagina be smaller?
21
Wed, 09-08-2004 - 2:36am
I have had sex with 5 partners total. My first partner expressed surprise when I lost my virginity because he said I was not very "tight". I am a petite woman in good health but this complex I have about the size of my vagina has caused me to refrain from having a boyfriend for several years now.

It seems to help just a little bit if I can not get too excited because then I tend to get very ,very lubricated and that makes it all the more slippery- dryness feels a little tighter. Of course the dryness is not very stimuating for me and normally only happens if sex occurs for more than 20 minutes. I get so excited about the anticipation but wind up feeling not much sensation.

I had one partner (my last one) who was not very long but was quite thick- this was the absolute best sex of my life but I think he was exceptional and it may be hard to find another man like him. There were even had times with him when it felt too loose.

So,I went to two different GYN's. They did an exam and said it felt like my vagina was very normal in size- nothing can be done but to try the kegal excercises. I have been doing those faithfully for several months.

I was just wondering if there are people out there that experience this issue? What do you do?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2003
Wed, 09-08-2004 - 3:13am
Well if it makes you feel any better honey, you're NOT alone. I have what you might refer to as a "roomy" vagina and no matter how hard I work at my kegels, thats just how I'm built. It's no different that with guys....some are big and some are little. I've had 4 kids which didn't help with the situation either but it's just one of those things you have to live with. Find yourself a well-endowed man or get some nice toys....but for gosh sakes don't let it ruin your sex life. Accept the way you're built and make the most of it. :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2004
Wed, 09-08-2004 - 7:57am
Has any man other than the first one (who wasn't very "bright") ever complained? Or is it you that's unhappy? You've had two different gynos tell you that you're "normal", so it's a pretty safe bet that you are.

I'm wondering if you're "expecting" more feeling than you're getting from your vagina alone. There are very few nerve endings in the vagina, with the exception of the opening (which is where the kegels help) and the "g" spot. 80% of women according to the "sexperts" do NOT experience orgasms from intercourse alone......it takes clitoral stimulation to create excitement and pleasure during intercourse. For most of us, it's the foreplay (oral and/or manual) that gives the greatest pleasure & the most orgasms during sex.

If you lubricate too much, the only solution for that is to keep a tissue or washcloth handy, and dry it up when it gets too wet. Believe me, there are plenty of women who don't lubricate well that would love to change places with you!

I think your first partner gave you a hangup that you're still suffering from. Just because HE thought you were not "tight" enough for a virgin. You need to put that idea out of your mind, because he didn't know what he was talking about. If you don't want to remain celibate for the rest of your life, you need to stop thinking about this, and learn to enjoy all the different kinds of sexual stimulation. Intercourse is only a part of good sex.

For more info on the female body, and how it works....check out www.the-clitoris.com

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Wed, 09-08-2004 - 9:04am

I agree with everything Greenteabag said in her post to you.


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-20-2004
Wed, 09-08-2004 - 12:03pm
I do believe vaginas come in different sizes. At least it makes sense logically. Anyways, it seems you have a prefernce in size and there's nothing wrong with that, but I also think some guys will have their preferences as well.

My personal opinion is that a good match in size between the man and the women is fairly important.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2004
Wed, 09-08-2004 - 12:28pm

Don't worry too much about a comment one lover made. The fact of the matter is that your own vagina will vary in tightness from time to time, and the same woman can be tight one time and loose the next. But the

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martinisnsushi - the two most important food groups!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2004
Wed, 09-08-2004 - 4:22pm
>>>>I think your first partner gave you a hangup that you're still suffering from. Just because HE thought you were not "tight" enough for a virgin. You need to put that idea out of your mind, because he didn't know what he was talking about. If you don't want to remain celibate for the rest of your life, you need to stop thinking about this, and learn to enjoy all the different kinds of sexual stimulation. Intercourse is only a part of good sex.<<<<<<


i agree the only reason this is on your mind is because of the comment your past lover made. Since the comment you seem to concentrate only on your tightness and let the foolish things run through your mind. this is just like what would happen to a guy if a women made a comment about his penis he would start thinking foolish things when he is with other partners. You have to put this to rest..... your normal...... enjoy

geez humans can be so mean

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2004
Wed, 09-08-2004 - 7:09pm
Wow, it's unbeLIEVable how mean people can be with a passing remark. That stinks.

I can't imagine most guys would really care ... they're just so incredibly happy to be getting laid, period! I suppose I'm pretty tight just b/c I'm a very small person ... dunno.

I'll ask my bf tonight when he calls -- he has sampled more vaginas in his life than I really care to think about lol. Although we use a different term for them ... ;-) Anyhow, he will surely give me the straight dope and I'll let you know what he thinks, fwiw.

One thing that amazed me to learn recently -- you can get it tightened by plastic surgery, just as you can get a boob or nose job. Apparently it's quite the rage among the 40-somethings. (I'm actually -not- kidding.)

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2004
Wed, 09-08-2004 - 8:13pm
... OK, we just talked about it. I tried to keep it affectionate but to the point ... obviously, thinking about him sampling other vaginas is not the most pleasant mental image. Anyhow, he said, sure, a tight p_____ feels sooooo good. And apparently they're -really- tight on some women. "OK so how do I rate?" He said if 10 was super-tight and 1 was loose, Chris you'd be a 6 or 7. So pretty average :-o. "Were there any memorable vaginas in your life?" Hmmmm, yes there was apparently an italian girl a few years ago who was apparently very tall and slim and just really really tight on him. He apparently caught up with her three years ago and it was just like he had remembered it. "How important is it to you?" It's not, it's just fun to cum inside a really tight one.

Then we got to talking about something which I guess I've never done for him. He said some women squeeze him on and off when he's inside them and he loves it, especially while he is ejaculating ... it just kind of massages the cum out or something. (I believe he's just talking about Kegels, which I do all the time and I have to remember to try it next time he is inside me ... pick me pick me I can do it too! ...)

Anyhow, a mild surprise to me: it does appears to be somewhat important. Not like he'd kick a girl out of bed if she wasn't optimal AFAICT lol. Well, there's the result of my research on this weighty matter.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2004
Thu, 09-09-2004 - 3:15am
Quote from greenteabag:"Has any man other than the first one (who wasn't very "bright") ever complained? Or is it you that's unhappy? You've had two different gynos tell you that you're "normal", so it's a pretty safe bet that you are."

Yes,I have had a couple of men discuss it with me that I am very loose. This is why I have been so reserved about having a new lover. I know this sounds crude but I wish there was a way to tell if a man is on the "thick" side early in the relationship (before sex)as I really did enjoy sex with the one lover that was built that way.

I am more realtionship oriented and don't want to experiment with too many partners ,but having good sex is fairly high on the priority list.

The one thing I have going for me is that I throughly enjoy oral sex and foreplay - have learned to become quite skilled in that area.

But,I have not had sex for several years and it is really starting to bother me. (especially when I turned 40 last year!) :::sigh:::

I think the reason why the Gyn's are stating that the size is normal is because it probably is normal during the examination when I am not stimulated- the problem is when I get stimulated and wet it gets very loose.

I will try to the suggestions of using a towel -ty!

Hmmm, I wonder if my several years of abstinence and my daily exercise regime will have changed things...

Anyway,thanks so much to all of your for your thoughtful responses.

Think I will go do my kegels now!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-20-2004
Thu, 09-09-2004 - 4:21am


I know it sounds brash, but, if it's important to you, you could always ask. I know this wouldn't bother me if a woman asked.

You would like to know how a guy is built and maybe he wants to know how your built. Why go through all the awkwardness? If he doesn't have what you want, you can move on.

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