AOL chat and naked pics

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-14-2004
AOL chat and naked pics
3
Tue, 09-14-2004 - 7:44pm
My long term Boyfriend .. enjoys chat rooms and exchanging pic. This makes me very unhappy. He works 2nd shift, so we only have two nights a week when we can go to bed at the same time; and recently, he stays up late (2am-4am) online in chat rooms. I am very sad and disappointed with this behavior. I love him so very much, but I am heart broken by his desire to spend his time doing this instead of coming to bed with me. Any advice?
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-26-2004
Tue, 09-14-2004 - 9:01pm
your post title says " naked pics"

is he exchanging or receiving naked pics of women?????

If he is then you need to let him know that is unacceptable. Even if he plans on not meeting up with these women, it is still wrong from him to being doing this esp. if his "chatting" is sexual in nature which I am assuming it is since he is up late at night and getting naked pics.

Since you don't get to see each other often, and he is choosing to be online then with you, I would sit him down and tell him it hurts your feelings. I know that I would be upset with this behavior.

A lot of people meet up after talking on the net or have "cyber sex" using just chatting or using webcams.

You need to lay down the rules. Either he gives up the chatting while you are there or else you aren't together anymore at nite.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2004
Tue, 09-14-2004 - 11:25pm
Have you told HIM that it makes you unhappy? If not, then it's up to you to tell him, and make him understand how you feel about it. If he prefers to stay up late talking to and looking at his computer screen, instead of being next to a real person, then he has a problem.

If he can't keep himself away from the computer, for at least two nights a week when he could be with you, then he has a problem.

If you tell him, and nothing changes, then YOU have a problem. You have to make the choice of whether you stay, and allow him to continue ignoring you, or just leaving him. You can only ask him to stop. If he doesn't, then the next step is up to you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2004
Wed, 09-15-2004 - 12:07am
I agree with the notion here that you need to increase or at least improve the communication with him. I say this of course without knowing how much or little that you tried already.

Him WANTING to spend more time with you and less online is EXACTLY how you should feel, but don't get too hung up if he simply enjoys this hobby of his. Its time to really really let him know that you don't get to be with him enough and that you really want him to spend more of that time with you. Remain polite and pleasant without it turning into a defensive issue, and I'm more convinced you'll get better results.

Just a smidgen of opinion for ya. Hope the replies are helping some. Good luck!

C h a r a c t e r


above all else


Mr. Para

 

C  H  A  R  A  C  T  E  R